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Thursday, June 26, 2008

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful I don't feel like I was hit by a semi-truck today. I could breathe last night! No more propping myself up with pillows while trying to sleep and breathe at the same time! It was miraculous. Although, the sound and quality of my voice today still isn't quite up to par. But I'll take the small victories as they come.

Let's get down to something else I'm thankful for- the July issue of Ensign magazine. It isn't available online at the moment, but the link will take you to the previous issues in 2008. Read!!

Anyway.

I browsed through the July issue last night while at the Pink House. Kev was doing something I couldn't help with. Like, scraping gunk off a pipe. And it was still too hot for me to mow the lawn, so I engaged in a little spiritual reading to pass the time.

There is an article about President Henry Eyring that I read and wanted to jump on the roof and yell about. Mostly just this one part was yell-worthy for me, so I will share it with you.

"My father was at a blackboard we kept in the basement," President Eyring recalls. "Suddenly he stopped. 'Hal,' he said, 'we were working at this same kind of problem a week ago. You don't seem to understand it any better now than you did then. Haven't you been working on it?'"
Hal said he had not. He then admitted to his father that physics was not something he constantly thought about. His father paused a moment and then, in tender words that released his son to pursue his own professional passion, he said, 'You ought to find something that you love so much that when you don't have to think about anything, that's what you think about" (pages 10-11).

I had to ask myself why I'm not doing something that I actually like. I mean, yes, I like working at a University and I like the students and I like helping them. But I hate working with numbers. I hate trying to read accounts and figure out where, in three years' time, the student's charges went wrong. I don't go home and find myself blissfully rethinking the work day and wishing I could get back to a problem and solve it. Instead, I feel a sick fluttering in my stomach most mornings when I'm heading to the office.

It's not that I can never figure out what I'm doing (although learning something new every day is a little overwhelming), it's more like I know I'm not in the right field for my future. It may be the right thing now since Kev and I need the stability of my income and health benefits, but it cannot possibly be the field in which I'm supposed to work for the rest of my life.

Problem is, I don't know what I'd think about if I didn't have to be thinking about something. Right now, all I think about is work for 8 hours while I'm there, and then I'm thinking about getting the bathroom done in the PH, or getting the drywall done, or the painting, or vacuuming, or doing the dishes at the apartment... see where I'm going with this? I only think about chores!! *sigh*

I need to do some soul-searching and really figure out what I'm going to be happy doing. Lately, going for a degree or a legitimate certification in design is so appealing. So what if I already have an English degree? Another diploma can't hurt. Especially if I feel fulfilled. And maybe if I have another degree to tell people about, they'll stop asking me if I'm going to teach. *side note: an English degree does not equal a teaching degree. If I taught kids, they'd probably get dumber.*

Then there's Yoga. Before this summer, I attended at least 2 classes a week at the University. When I was a student, I actually went to 4 each week. I got to the point, after over 2 years of taking drop-in classes, that I seriously considered getting certified to teach. I wouldn't try to make a career of it, but it would be wonderful to share something I love with others and generate some supplemental income. Now that Kev and I have been so busy with the house, I've only been to one Yoga class the entire summer. My heart breaks admitting that. I don't feel as confident anymore and almost feel as though I'd have to start from square one all over again. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Besides, it takes time to save up for certification courses. Those bad boys are expensive.

So, what am I taking away with me after reading this article about President Eyring?

I need to slow down my over-worked brain once in a while, take a deep breath, and think about nothing. Then, when something comes to my brain, I should figure out if it's something I could do for a career, or even just develop into a regular hobby.

I challenge you do to the same. We all deserve to be happy, especially when we're working so hard for it.

2 comments:

  1. *slow clap* clap.......clap.....clap...clap..colapclapclapclap!!!

    This was such an excellent blog. I really feel the same sometimes. I mean I love my job but it's a very distant cry from being my PASSION. I have so many things that I know I'd love to do but...ya can't do it all! Oh and even though me and yoga have not rekindled eachother for awhile its a life goal of mine to become a yoga instructor. Maybe me, you and nikki can open a studio together. DEAL.

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  2. Thank you. This is exactly what I needed right now.

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