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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Memoirs of an Internet Tech

I just had an excruciatingly painful afternoon at work.

So much so that I wondered how I could manage to fall down, crack my head open and escape.

When a service person comes to the dorms to replace a window/phone line/cable line etc., someone from Housing must accompany him/her into the apartments. I had the lucky task of scooping up my lunch and following the IT guys around for over an hour while a line was fixed in an apartment.

One of the guys was up in the attic, so that left me in an apartment with the 2nd guy. He noticed the ring I wear and asked if I'm married. I smiled and said yes, and waited for the inevitable "So, how do you like it so far?" question. That's such a weird question to ask someone. It's kinda personal, just like "So, when you having kids?" IT guy asked how long I've been married so I told him just over 2 years.

Anyway. Once I confirmed that I am indeed married and that I am indeed loving it, IT guy gave me some fantastic advice: "I hear it gets hard at the 3 year mark."

Funny. Usually people say the first year is one of the most difficult because of all the adjusting and meshing of two lives into one-ish life. I shared this common insight with IT guy and that's when the word vomit spewed forth uncontrollably.

Surprise, surprise, IT guy is divorced. And it happened around his 3rd year of marriage. *sigh* Apparently, the ex went back to her old ways of drinking and smoking. And to prove his point that she is a really bad egg now, IT guy told me she now spends money recklessly on an apartment instead of a mortgage! And let's her pot-head brother drive her car! And wants to be on her own insurance plan instead of IT guy's! And didn't want to keep the dog!

I could not believe my ears. For almost a full hour I listened to the story of this guy's life. Why does that always happen to me? I endure the same torture when I walk around with window-repairman-who-used-to-work-at-AOL-and-got-fat-because-he-had-a-mini-fridge-under-his-desk-guy.

In order to get away from all the drama that is apparently a necessity with IT guy, I resorted to staring out the window to watch cars drive by. That's what IT guy sighed and said the reason he and his wife moved to Utah was for the mountains. And they didn't climb them one single time. I think I discovered the reason why they got divorced. THEY DIDN'T CLIMB THE MOUNTAINS ONE SINGLE TIME!

IT guy asked me if I've been up to the waterfall in Ogden. I probably should have bit my tongue and just said yes, but instead I told him that's actually where I met my husband and where he later proposed to me. It's totally the truth; I didn't tell IT guy that just to depress him. Obviously, I was just trying to let him know that the whole reason my husband and I are still married is because we DID climb the mountains. Duh.

In the beginning of our one-sided conversation, IT guy said it's hard to date now and that girls are weird about divorced guys. I commented that sometimes it's hard for some people to date someone who's been divorced becaust there's usually baggage. He interrupted me and said he doesn't have any baggage because she's long gone from his life. However, he then proceeded to talk about the ex for an hour. Baggage, my friend. Whether emotional or physical, it's still baggage.

These guys don't even know my name, yet they chatter away like we're best buds. They only ask me questions in order to answer with their own tales of woe. IT guy asked me if I've had any problems in my life. I just told him I've had my share, only not involving my own divorce. Guess what. He doesn't recommend I try that one out. Of course I'm not getting divorced; I CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINS WITH MY HUSBAND. Our marriage is set.

3 comments:

  1. oh no! wait!! v + i haven't climbed the mountains in ogden yet! and we are coming into the third year of marriage.... oh man, we're doomed!

    does it count that we have climbed other mountains together?!

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  2. I think you should make your posts into a book. This is good stuff. People would buy it.
    I think that guy is so hilarious. Now you've gotta admit the whole situation sounds like it came straight from a sitcom. I think people talk your ear off forever because you are so polite and a REALLY good listener. So good, in fact,that you probably do it on accident.
    Please, do more of those entries. They're great!

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  3. I laughed through this whole entire post, Matt looked at me like I'm crazy. Baggage, my friend, baggage, made me crack up.

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