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Thursday, November 05, 2009

The flash

While standing in line for the book signing at Sam Weller's, I told Kev that I wished one of us could be a famous author. Mostly, I was wishing that one of us was that well-paid. Kev told me it's likely that only one of us has a chance to be an author. I responded that I just don't see it happening for me. When would I have time to write a real something? Something longer than a blog post? Something more than just an entry in my private journal? I'd have to quit my day job if I wanted to pretend to be a writer. It just doesn't make sense.

But then Kev said something to me. He looked at me amidst all the other nerds there and he said: "I think you'll do it someday."

That hit me. I felt it. Something moved inside of me. Little flutters. I think he might be right. I'll never know unless I try. On our walk through downtown SLC to the car, we talked about the fear of failure. It's the worst thing, isn't it? We might be really awesome at something, but we won't let ourselves find out because we're too scared of messing up. That's how I felt about starting a new job. It's how I feel about taking my licensing exam. It's how I feel about leading the music in church.

Now I have yet another goal. I'm going to overcome my fear of failure, one day at a time. Fear of failure is stupid. It has no right to keep me from achieving goals I've already set for myself. Be gone!

Do you get what I'm talking about here?

3 comments:

  1. Nice reference to Emily. Fear of failure has kept me from doing a lot of things that I may have succeeded at. Why does that prevent us from doing? We fail by not doing it at all. Very thought provoking.

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  2. failure is one of my fears too. i just try to tackle it by actually trying stuff, and accept the fact that i am not perfect and i very well could fail, but that doesnt make me a horrible person. good luck, i think you could totally write a book. i would buy it :]

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  3. I didn't start writing books until I was in my 40's, so you've got time! And I think it's wonderful that your husband believes in you as he does. That should help you get past that fear of failure you mentioned.

    =)

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