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Tuesday, December 08, 2009

It's complicated

I have a great job with a great boss.

But I'm exhausted. Do you know how difficult it is to be an assistant to a handful of co-workers while simultaneously being responsible for answering phones and offering customer service to whoever enters the office? I also schedule most of the maintenance which is getting more detailed each week.

On top of that, I'm still studying to get my license. I'm failing the math portion miserably. I can't wrap my head around it.

On top of that, I'm still teaching Pilates and just picked up another class starting in January at WSU.

On top of that, I'm still teaching a class at church every week, and a third rotation was just added so I have to return to the church building after the 3-hr block and teach an afternoon session. That means that the one weekly opportunity I used to have to take a nap no longer exists.

On top of that, I'm still making jewelry because I seem to think I need to have hobbies that end up taking over my free time. It is nice to have extra income though, especially since Kev's temp job is slated to end at Christmas.

On top of that, I'm still supposed to keep my house clean and take care of a dog and a husband.

I can't do it all. More importantly, I don't want to do it all. I just want to relax a little. I just want to work part-time and have less responsibility. I want to keep my fridge full of food and my floors clean and keep up with the laundry. I want to wait for Kev to get home from a great day at his job and then make dinner without feeling like passing out from exhaustion.

But if I choose to work part-time we lose our insurance. We lose the income that pays every bill except the mortgage. I just have to man up and do it.

Things could be a lot worse.

7 comments:

  1. Wow- you are overloaded for sure! I would have a nervous breakdown with all of that going on. I'm sure that comment doesn't help much but maybe you should lighten your load where you have control to do so.

    You are my hero! I look like a lazy bum next to you!

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  2. This is called adult life. I work 50 hours a week, buy my own groceries in my free time, and I too have certifications for my work to study for. I have an apartment I would like to keep clean and laundry I would like to stay on top of. I have to find energy to make dinner at the end of the day and get up early and go running.

    I too, would like a husband with a job that would enable me to stay at home, to be a mom. I don't even have a husband.

    You have a home. You have a husband. You have SO MUCH. Why do you spend so much of your blog talking about how someone at work didn't write out a phone number just so, or how you hate saying the same thing over and over again on the phone. Even the positive posts - The Forgotten Carols, have time dedicated to how the lighting wasn't up to your exacting standards.

    I challenge you to write two full weeks of posts without anything negative in them. Every life is a mix of positive and negative, and you have every right to share all parts of your life with your blog readers, really, you do. It's your blog, and of course, no one has to read it. But I've been reading your blog for months now, and I really like you. You're funny, you're clever, you're talented. So share that with us. Just for a few weeks, share just the joy. Help us to do the same in our lives.

    (I don't anticipate you posting this comment, have no fear. I just have felt this on my heart for a couple of weeks and needed to share.)

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  3. Anon-

    If you don't like what I write, then don't read it.

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  4. Liv,
    You're not a real blogger until a brave anonymous reader has posted something about how your blog sucks.

    Sadly, I've not reached that yet. I have been plagarized once, though. Does that count?

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  5. I get you, Liv.

    It's easy for people to say that just because someone else has something others don't have that the "someone else" has a better life and shouldn't complain. I do it, too, but I think reading that comment is a wake-up call for me.

    No one knows what goes on behind closed doors of what looks like a perfect home life, and, especially, no one knows what goes on in anyone's mind. I'm sure lots of people look at others and think "They should be happy! Look what they have! Look what I don't!" when someone with even less is thinking that of them at that exact moment.

    Maybe you've complained a bit lately. I haven't noticed, so it might say something about me. Oops.

    The point is, we're all allowed to have these emotions. While some people might only like to read the flowery, fluffy stuff, part of me is content to read that others' lives are like mine — not perfect.

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  6. Liv -- my thoughts exactly! If you don't like it, don't read it!

    I think it is so important to stay true to your feelings. I often write about mu frustrations as well because that is how I'm feeling. It's my blog, I'll write what I want to write! You shouldn't have to sensor yourself on your own little pieceof the internet.

    And I agree with kris too -- you aren't a big time blogger unil you get an annon comment :)

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  7. Liv-
    I've read your blog off and on for a year or so now and I love it. I think it's completely refreshing that you are so honest and open. Too many people use blogs to show how "perfect" their lives are and how much fun they are having...even when they might be unhappy, depressed, bored and NORMAL (imperfect). Blogs can be extremely decieving. Thanks for being honest and making me feel like I'm not alone in the struggle of being overwhelmed with life, real life.
    Love every letter you write. Thanks! -M

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