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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Now I know why some cultures just build an addition on their homes when a child gets married.

My parents planned their visit to meet Aspen around the week she would be blessed in church.

I was both nervous and glad that they weren't coming out right away. I was afraid that if they came too soon, I'd be a wreck and they'd do more harm than good. Or that I wouldn't be able to appreciate all their efforts to help because I'd be too tired and emotional and crazy.

The timing worked out really really really well. Aspen was about 4 weeks old by the time Gail and Marc came to Utah. I had Gail all to myself for almost a week before Marc came and they made good use of their time here to visit with my other siblings in Provo/Sandy in addition to helping us in Ogden.

Growing up, my mom had to work full-time to support our family. She has four kids and we learned how to take care of each other in order to help out. I have a lot of good and crazy memories of tending my younger brother- ok, it was more like trying to kill him when he cheated during UNO... but still... it was kind of like "tending."

Even though Gail is not really into babies, I think she had a lot of fun taking care of mine. She did so much for us while she was here- from cooking to cleaning to organizing the entire party after Aspen's baby blessing. We're good organizers in my family. Some might call it obsessing-until-an-event-is-executed, while others might call it organizing.

Gail also discovered that if a binky is dropped in the oven, it won't melt! Even if it's propped up against the heating coil. Who would've thought?!

We had a lot of food, ate a lot of ice cream, traded a lot of baby-holding, enjoyed a lot of walks, and got a lot of chores completed while Gail and Marc were here. It was truly a blessing to have visitors who made themselves useful (like Sophia and Jeshua who did my dishes and cleaned my kitchen the first weekend we all came home from the hospital).

I was reading through The Happiest Baby on the Block (THANK YOU ABBY!) and I really liked the advice to new parents that unless a guest is going to make him/herself useful, they don't have to be allowed to stop by. I think that's what bothered me the most in my extremely emotional state when Aspen first came home- I felt pressured to entertain guests instead of just letting them stop by and help me. I didn't want anyone to come over unless everything was perfect. That's why I'm so glad my parents planned their visit when they did. I was able to appreciate it and enjoy myself more. Also, after about a month, the first wave of support had died down a bit and I found myself ready for more. It gave me a second wind.

To everyone who has held my baby for me, who has brought a meal to us, who has gone on walks with me, who has responded to my texts/emails/Facebook updates about Aspen, or who has sat on my couch and read a random book while I slept for two hours: THANK YOU. It truly does take a village to raise a child and Kev and I could not keep going without your support.

2 comments:

  1. Sounds like it was perfect timing when Gail & Marc came. My brothers especially the youngest has plenty of stories of how he had to run me around every where because both my parents had to work full time to support the family.

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  2. I hope you like the book, Liv! I noted the spot about the Gastro Colic reflex because of some of the things you have talked about with Aspen's nursing (iE: crying during feedings). Lydia did that and I always FREAKED about it. When I read about what it was, why it happened, and that it was OKAY I felt so much better. I don't know if it will help you, but I hope it does!

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