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Monday, November 15, 2010

A walk down memory lane.

I've been reading over posts I wrote when Aspen was brand-new, and I find myself so happy those weeks are over. I don't wish they had never happened, and I can appreciate what I've learned, but I'm so glad I survived and I now have a tiny, fun little person to show for it.

Those weeks were so hard. I was consumed with fatigue and hunger (I never had time to eat!). I didn't know what the heck I was doing. The Pink House was a million degrees. I had stitches in my (ahem) lady parts. Aspen wouldn't eat. It was hard!

It's only now, a little over three months later, that I find myself really loving motherhood. It's a joy. There are still many moments of frustration, but it's more rewarding now because my little person smiles at me. She coos at me. She plays with me. SHE EATS! I had hoped for this, and I'm so grateful it's come to fruition. I believe I could even do this again in a few years when I've completely forgotten how miserable newborn-hood is.

I read this post by Natalie and I had to shoo away feelings of guilt. She wrote it about two weeks after her son was born and I was like, hmm, at two weeks I wanted to get in my car, drive away, and NEVER COME BACK. And then at seven weeks Kev and I got the flu and I once again wanted to get in my car, drive away, and NEVER COME BACK.

Thankfully, I know it doesn't make me a bad parent for feeling that way. It's just how my personality dealt with the whirlwind that is newborn-hood. The most important thing to note is not once did I get in my car, drive away and NEVER COME BACK.

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