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Wednesday, December 08, 2010


I can stand in her doorway, unseen, and watch her. Her legs lift together in the blanket that is wrapped around her. She makes noises like a kitten in her sleep.

I want to soak it all in and have a picture of it in my mind forever. The colorful mobile over the crib. The red chair we sit in together while she nurses. The bookshelf full of toys, blankets and photos. The puffy pom poms that hang from the ceiling.

Eventually she'll outgrow this room; we'll outgrow this house. We'll have to pack everything up and settle down somewhere new.

Eventually she'll outgrow me. She won't bury her head in my shoulder and play shy with her daddy. Her cheeks will lose their fullness and her belly won't swell against mine while I burp her. I won't talk to her about her feet while she looks up at me from her changing table. She won't need me to explain the world to her. So much will change.

And that is why I stand in her doorway, unseen, and watch her. While she's sleeping I can keep these moments from coming, these moments when she won't need me anymore.


  1. It's awful and wonderful, isn't it?

    This is lovely.

  2. aw, so sweet. it's so great that you take the time to cherish what you have now. that's a really beautiful thought. xo


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