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Sunday, May 08, 2011

Can you punch a day in the face?

If you were here last year, you read how I feel about Mother's Day then. If not, just go read it and tell me you think I'm brilliant or stupid, whichever floats your boat.

I just wish no one had to feel the emptiness of not being a mother if that's what they want. I know how much it hurts to want and want and want to start a family. Kev and I had to wait until circumstances were better for us to welcome Aspen (and then I found out I was pregnant the same month Kev got laid off).

Every time someone surprised me with the news they were pregnant, I was like, oh hey that's great! But in my head I was like, oh hey shut up! I felt happy for those friends, but so very sad for me. I know a lot of couples right now who are waiting their turn; either to have their first or to have subsequent children. It's so very hard.

Mother's Day just seems to remind me of those awful feelings of not being a mother, even though I now have Aspen.

You know what else is stupid about Mother's Day? My family ward doesn't have all the Primary kids sing those adorable songs to their moms during Sacrament meeting. We're totally getting gypped! Who doesn't look forward to hearing a bunch of kids singing songs? And there's always that one kid who's like, half a beat behind all the rest and his awkward little voice rings out.

I guess you can consider my annual Mother's Day post like one of those awkward little voices. I feel like I'm sometimes in the minority in my viewpoints on motherhood, but that doesn't keep me from singing out loud and clear.


  1. I wanted to punch today in the face because I had to work today. I mean honestly, who schedules the mom's to work on mother's day and lets the dads have it off. I am pissed.

    Moving on, I totally have mixed feelings about this day too. I have a few friends that have been trying for so long to be mom's, but aren't yet. I remember the mother's day right after my miscarriage, it was THE WORST. I think it is hard for so many, I wish I could just give them all babies!

  2. Not having a relationship with my mother, not being a mother and wanting to be one makes mothers day a rough one for me. I am happy to celebrate what mothers do for us. I hate being made to feel that "lack" in my life one day because all anyone wants to do is talk about how great everyones mom is (but my mom) and how being a mom is the greatest thing in the whole world and everyone should be one...I want to be one but it isn't in my cards at the moment. Its just one more way to make those lacking (not just me!) feel it all the more acutely. Celebrate mothers everyday not just one day a year.

  3. amen. while it is a lovely holiday, with good intentions ... for those who aren't a mother, it can be hard.

  4. I suppose I would have reason to hate Father's Day for some of the same reasons already stated. Father's Day is difficult because it's a day that makes me miss my dad, but it's also a day that I like to spend remembering him and celebrating ALL of the wonderful father-figures in my life. Even though I may have reason to dislike it, I still try to make it a special day.
    I have two uncles who are single with no children and will probably never be fathers, but we like to include them in the festivities and make their day special too. They, in turn, make the day extra special for their father, uncles, nephews, etc.
    I can see why some people would not like the titles of Father's Day or Mother's Day for these holidays. Maybe it would be better if they were called Female Role Model Day or Male Role Model Day, because that's how I like to celebrate them. It's a day that I can remember the wonderful role models in my life who in one way or another have been that Mother or Father figure even if they aren't one biologically.
    And no, I'm not a fan of this holiday because I got a huge bouquet of flowers, breakfast in bed, and a nice present. We kept things simple.
    Even when I was one of those heartbroken, childless women, I didn't hate the holiday because I knew that someday I would be a mom, or I could always be a mother-figure to those around me.

  5. I'm not a fan of Mother's Day. I agree with the primary comment, they sing for Father's Day, but not Mother's Day. What's up with that?


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