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Wednesday, November 09, 2011

You're a slave to money then you die

After the grocery store, I found myself driving right past our street. With Aspen strapped in the back and The Verve playing on the radio, I couldn't bear the thought of just going home. Something about the monotony of everything finally got to me.

Day in and day out, we're struggling to get by. We're struggling to find any time together as a family. We're struggling to survive jobs that offer no future. We're struggling to figure out how schooling fits into our lives. Trying to just make ends meet is difficult.

Last week the Bishop finally came over to our home to meet with us. He's been asking for a few weeks when it would be a good time to visit. With us never knowing when Kev will be home, it's difficult to nail down a time for anything to happen. I'm glad that we pegged a day that worked.

He came bearing good news, offering us some much-needed assistance. However, we're not sure when we can actually move forward with it since we're stuck in a vicious cycle right now. I know that Kev needs to take advantage of other opportunities, but current circumstances basically prevent him from doing so. And we can't change our current circumstances without other opportunities.

See what I mean?

So what it boiled down to yesterday was me needing to feel like I had some control over something that sunny afternoon. Instead of hauling the groceries and the baby right back to the house, we went into the canyon for a drive. We listened to staticy radio and looked through the car windows at the snowy mountains. I drove and thought. I tried to figure out what we can do to make our lives better some day. I tried to figure out how we can get Kev in a better place, a place that will allow and encourage him to use his skills and intelligence and to do so much more.

At least yesterday I knew where we were going. In real life, it just isn't so easy.

2 comments:

  1. I hear you. Despite our different situations, this post really spoke to me. Good luck with figuring everything out. When you do, tell me the secret.

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  2. Life isn't easy that is for sure. And I can definitely relate to parts of your post although like the previous comment our situations are different. I hope things work out for you!

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