Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

I got one of those notes too!

You've probably heard of Brittany Molina by now. She's the BYU student who received a note from a classmate that chastised her outfit of choice on Valentine's Day. I get both sides of this story; for one, Brittany's skirt was above her knees, but she had leggings and boots to cover her lower half. Technically, that does violate the Honor Code at BYU. But on the flip side, she was very modestly dressed according to the rest of the universe.

The point to be understood though, is that we don't need to go around judging what other people are wearing. Unless, of course, you're the Honor Code police at BYU.

When I read an article about Brittany, I found some comfort in it. You see, I also received some passive-aggressive criticism last week in the form of the written word. I wore patterned tights to church with a pencil skirt, and a three-quarter-length button up. The next day, a private blog post was published by someone in my ward who listed a number of clothing choices she thought were immodest and inappropriate for church. Images were Googled and used in the post to reflect my outfit.

I was pretty shocked to see that on my computer screen. If my outfit was so offensive, this person could have just told me WHEN I SAT NEXT TO HER IN RELIEF SOCIETY. Why go to the trouble of creating a lengthy blog post? Later in the week I was un-invited from the list of readers who have access to this person's blog. I can only assume that once she realized I could see the post about my offensive tights, she deleted me.

I wish we didn't spend so much time tearing each other down these days. We can all use extra support as we try our best to succeed in school, work and raising families. Now, if I showed up at church with track marks on my arms, then yes, someone should write a blog post about it so an intervention can be staged. But wearing patterned tights and a pencil skirt to my knees shouldn't be such a hot topic.

15 comments:

  1. That is super aggravating. There is nothing worse than someone that dislikes you but won't say it out loud. You know it, everyone else knows it, but for some reason they pretend to be nice to you and do the most hurtful things on purpose. I'm sure your outfit was super cute, because you always dress super cute and I'm sure that it wasn't inappropriate for church either. Sorry Liv!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sorry. I love the way you dress and I only wish I had half the fashion sense you do. You would be my fashion consultant if I had money to actually buy some clothes, and I always love seeing the clothes and shoes you post on your other blog. I do wish people didn't care so much about what people wore or did, and just accepted people for who they are. When I came back from KY, there was someone in the ward who went out of their way to avoid me and wouldn't even say "hello" to me because of a comment I made on facebook. She even made a point to make her husband move all of their bags and himself from the same row that we were sitting on in sacrament, because she didn't want to be near me. It really bothered me for a while, esp. since my comment wasn't even rude. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Holy cow. That is ridiculous. I'm sorry people are so weird. Seriously, isn't the most important thing that we are going to church and taking the sacrament, regardless of what we are wearing? I love the way you dress too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. alissa, i was thinking the same as you; at least i got my lazy self out of the house and to church on time.
    dixie, we can sit by each other any time!
    and annie, when i was defriended on facebook months ago, i should have seen this coming!
    hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  5. wait, woah, where's this comment?! i'm curious! i have no idea why some people think they have the right to tell you what to wear. even if someone was wearing something crazy and immodest to church, is it really that person's right? if it's bad enough, maybe someone in the bishopric would need to be involved or something, if enough people were complaining (i'm talking hypothetically, not about you) but SERIOUSLY. she doesn't have the authority or right to do that. ridiculous.

    we had a lady come over while we were building and make some rude comments about our choice of hardiplank wood on the outside instead of like, all brick and stucco or something. we couldn't believe she felt she had the right (she even came over with laminated covenants of the area!) to say something, and now she avoids us at church.

    moral? people are stupid. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. oh, i'm stupid too. a blog post, not a comment. :) nevermind about where the comment is, but my comment still stands. ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think this is absolutly ridiculous, but also quite funny. When I was in Youth one of the otehr Young Women "reported" me to the bishop for not wearing a teeshirt and knee length short while participating in a swimming carnival. He called me into his office to tell me. He had no problem with it and we sat in his office and ate chocolate until the other girl thought I had been reprimanded enough. We also had a overly strict at crazy YW pres who made us wear rubbish bags if she thought we werent modest enough. Needless to say the majority of the YW went inactive. There is a difference between the letter of the law and the spirit of the law.

    ReplyDelete
  8. one of the many reasons im so glad to not live in utah............and the honor/dress/lamo code is one of the many reasons i didn't even think to apply to BYU........no one has the right to tell you how to dress unless it is affecting them in a very negative way.........like if someone's shirt says the F word on it - or if someone has a shirt so low you can see everything but the nipple........but i think even then the appropriate measure is not to judge or blog - but to love and let them know how it's affected you - i guess we have to remember that this is why we go to church - to learn to be better - and hopefully your friend will learn that lesson about judging and gossiping someday!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. KIM YOUR HOUSE IS OFFENSIVE!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. i just don't get some people. this is ridiculous!! liv you dress freakin' cute and from how you described your outfit, i cannot figure out how it would be considered "offensive". sometimes i think people are looking for things to be offended about.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Maybe the right person will read this and you can be a model like the BYU girl! And someone getting mad over what materials you build your house with? That's just crazy!

    ReplyDelete
  12. its tuff to be modest, if you can manage to keep your garments covered (without altering them) then I think congratulations your modest! People need to understand that everyone has feelings and sometimes we mess up but man nobody needs to dwell on our little imperfections (ps liv I totally dont think you ever dress inappropriately) we can't build a kingdom if were constantly belittling eachother.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I was shocked by this story (of the BYU student), and even more so about your own story! WOW.

    I think I have shared with you that I learned quickly once I moved here that you are judged by what you wear. I tried to swiftly accommodate my wardrobe to be as least offensive as possible here. So even though I am not a BYU student, I definitely can relate.

    You are gorgeous and set a great modest example.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hahaha, patterned tights and a pencil skirt were offensive enough to be blog worthy?! That's a riot. Good thing I don't go to church with that person, she'd probably think I was the devil if she saw me in my zebra striped tights ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Maybe you should ask to teach the lesson next week in Relief Society and do it on judging and loving unconditionally, especially the sisters in your own ward. Sheesh. It's self righteous people like this that give Utah such a bad name! I think you should wear your patterned tights every week from now on!!!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by!