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Thursday, April 19, 2012

It could have been such a nice day.

I'm less than thrilled with our new "normal" around here. Aspen is still having a hard time shaking the tantrums. I don't think she's happy with the outcomes, either. When she is inconsolable, I end up leaving her to cry wherever she is. In the car seat. On the floor. Pounding on the front door. I only intervene when she begins throwing things or herself around. Otherwise she pulls my hair, claws at my face or just tries to leap out of my arms to the floor.

As much as I want to help her, I don't know how. I offer choices to her throughout the day to give her control over her activities and food. I offer choices between doing something appropriate or having a timeout instead. Nothing works.

Today she worked herself into such a fit that she THREW UP. This is a first in our house. She is also asking for her bed and for binky. Up until last week, binky was only for sleeping. Now she wants it All. The. Time. And if she cannot have it she will not calm down. She's like a drug addict asking for that one soothing hit to calm her nerves after an upset. I'm surprised she hasn't lost her voice yet. One way she gets around the "no binky" rule is to ask to be put in her crib. So I put her in and let her cry it out with a binky and her blanky. I'm beyond understanding what is a good or bad way to handle these requests.

I hate that I'm living in fear of what will cause a tantrum. If we change activities, will she freak out? If I suggest we get dressed, will she freak out? If we do a diaper change, will she freak out? In case you're wondering, the answer is "yes" to all of the above and then some.

And the worst part is that no one in my family feels badly for me because I was way worse as a kid. I can't even get any sympathy! I guess I'll just wait a couple of decades for Aspen to have a little terror of her own. Maybe then I'll feel better about all this.


  1. I completely understand. I don't have sympathy, but I do have lots of empathy. I wish that I was merely sympathetic, because the fact that I am empathetic means I am dealing with the same thing. I had to just vent on my blog to rid myself of all the horrid emotions that were threatening my sanity. Jesse is completely in the terrible two's and I am just as lost as he. :(

  2. So sorry about her tantrums that has got to be so hard. She must have been really upset to actually throw up. its great your giving her choices to feel more independent. The terrible twos are terrible that's for sure, bailee has and is definitely going through them.

  3. I'm sorry! I wish I had some magic advice, but being that I am on baby number 4 and he does the same thing, I got nothing. Logan's new thing is banging his head against whatever is closest to him, the floor, the wall, or me. It's super fun. On a lighter note, I love your hair!

  4. My niece hit this phase a few months ago and it's so difficult to reconcile the amazing person I KNOW she is with the crazy person she acts like. I just want my snuggly little Olivia back! Who is this insane monster who has taken her place?

    Honestly, I have no helpful words for you, but please know that any feelings of confusion, annoyance, frustration and even occasional hatred are NOT unique, and that millions of parents have successfully gotten through this phase before -- I'm confident you can, too. :)


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