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Tuesday, June 05, 2012

My story, part V

See previous posts on this topic here.

In college, I dated a lot. It's only now that I realize I was looking for something I had lost- a father's approval. I didn't realize that was probably fueling my intense need to be accepted by boys. What I don't think I'll ever fully understand is why I kept dating all the wrong ones.

My first boyfriend was one of the sweetest, most innocent boys I've ever known. He was also only 19, which meant that just two months after meeting, he left for his LDS mission. So... that sucked. But don't worry, then I started seeing someone who wasn't LDS to fill the void. And while he was a decent guy, he ended up dumping me because he wanted to date some other girl who'd go to parties with him.

You see, when I was in fifth grade, I was offered my first beer. I was at my friend's house after school and she just pulled one out of the fridge. I declined her offer and vowed that I would never drink. I watched her take what she wanted me to believe was her first ever sip, but I wasn't stupid. Once she spit it out into the sink I was relieved the whole thing was over so we could go back to doing things a little more appropriate for our age.

So in college, while I was fine dating boys who didn't share all my same opinions on partying, I didn't budge an inch on my choice to stay sober. Sometimes that meant I didn't date a particular person for very long. After Cory and Rory (how cute that their names rhymed, huh?) I dated another pre-missionary. Again, I got dumped, but this time for a girl even more Molly-Mormon than me. It was a really good thing though, because when I told Mark I'd be working as a tutor my sophomore year in college, he made some crude remarks about free-loaders who expected me to do all their homework for them. And then told me all homeless people are drunks. I reminded him I had been homeless when I was 12. He went on his mission shortly after that and we haven't talked since. Good choice!

Steve came after Mark, and he was an 18-year-old alcoholic. My judgment just kept getting better and better! I spent a couple of months cleaning up after parties and hauling his wasted self home. It was such a horrible "relationship" that even his friends told me I was too good for him. Bless their hearts. My roommates thought I had completely lost my mind. One of my English professors took me aside one day and asked if there was something going on in my life that I needed to talk about. It was a major wake-up call that he noticed I was not myself. I don't know if Steve was sober when I broke up with him, but we stopped seeing each other that winter.

It was around this time that Rory tried to make a reappearance in my life (almost a year after he had broken up with me). He actually asked me why we had stopped dating. I told him he had dumped me for someone else and he said I must be remembering it wrong. I should have pulled out my journal and let him read it for himself. Despite my explanation, he insisted we go out for something to eat, or at least hot chocolate. I think we went to Denny's. I ordered a water. And nothing else.

My hints obviously weren't strong enough because he kept kind of pursuing me. He's a nice guy, but I wasn't about to get dumped by him a second time. My good friend Travis did me a solid and answered my phone once when Rory called. He told Rory if he didn't leave me alone, he'd kick his trash. Shortly after that conversation, the cops showed up at my apartment.


  1. then what happened? it's nice to learn so much more about you, I like reading your story :)

  2. Annie, were you working as RA then? I can't remember. But oh man, this was a good story I'd recently forgotten. There will be more this week!


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