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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

My story, part VII

To read previous posts on this topic, click here.

While my next boyfriend was at least older than Steve, he wasn't much better for my self-esteem, or my heart. I moved in the middle of my sophomore year to become a Resident Assistant in a different dorm. The day I finished moving into my new apartment, Matt decided I needed to date him. I put him off for a couple of weeks (while Rory was calling the cops on me!), but eventually gave in. That was the start of a whole new ballgame.

As I read my journal entries chronicling the saga that was my relationship with Matt, I still couldn't figure out why on earth he insisted on dating me. He knew I was LDS, and I knew he was not. And we both knew neither of those things would change. Additionally, he was on his last semester at Weber and would be moving to Salt Lake at the end of the school year. There was no future.

For whatever reason, that didn't stop us from having the most useless relationship known to man. We saw a lot of each other that spring semester, but eventually he wanted more than I felt comfortable giving. He broke up with me and I started hating him about 2 seconds later. It had been such a waste of time and energy. But the fun didn't stop there!

Over the next 5 or 6 months, we stayed in touch and kept talking about getting back together. I was an emotional wreck. Almost every time we made plans, they fell through. I was living in Ogden without a car. Matt was living in Salt Lake and working construction. We had completely separate lives but kept trying to make it work. He broke up with me a second time somewhere in there.

One thing about Matt that drove me crazy was his reluctance to talk either in person or over the phone. He was all about text messaging. Which was super convenient when I wanted to chew him out for something I was mad about. We were always going back and forth in messages, asking what the heck the other person wanted and blah blah blah. It's exhausting to even remember it. There was so much arguing. I put my dating life on hold because I kept out hope that something would change and we could work out.

Guess what. It didn't. But the damage was done and every time a boy flaked on me in the future, it brought back the despair I felt in this relationship. Even when I was dating Kev, who, after just two months of dating, I knew I would marry.

1 comment:

  1. I know that it is hard to write something that is so personal, but I have truly enjoyed your story about life, relationships, finding yourself and just living. Your story is truly inspirational. I have to add that I HATE text messaging. As you know in my post about fb, but texts are the worst because you never know the context behind the words. Something could be sarcastic and taken as completely rude or nice but misconstrued. I am a talker and very personal. Oh, how I hate the changing times when it comes to communication. To end on a positive note; I think all your relationships leading up to Kev were to prepare you for the best thing that could happen to you. Keep up the writing. :)

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