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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Stuck

I took the long way into Ogden, driving Highway 89 so I could run an errand before reaching my final destination. It's a slower pace than I-15, so I can't remember the last time I willingly chose that option. As I came up a hill in South Weber and saw the familiar mountains I felt pangs of homesickness. I haven't let it hit me much since moving to West Jordan, but upon returning to Ogden, I cried.

I cried because everything was so abrupt; packing the house, deciding on a rental, loading up the truck, moving in the middle of the week. I didn't even get to schedule final play-dates or meet ups with Aspen's or my own friends. Driving into Ogden, I wished that I was driving back to my Pink House for good. But it was only for a quick visit. I just needed to pick up a few things to bring with me to the rental, and I wanted to make use of the Treehouse Museum pass that has long-since paid for itself.

How could I have known ten years ago, when I made the exact same drive north along Highway 89, that I would grow to love the city of my college youth so much? How could I have known that it would be so hard to leave?

Possibly the most unsettling element of our move is how temporary it is. We plan to leave WJ as soon as our lease is up. Our garage is full of boxes; the walls of our bedrooms are bare. Kev's commute into and out of Sandy for work is much longer than we anticipated and it defeats the purpose of moving south. We might as well still live in Ogden for the amount of time Kev spends on the road, trying to get home after a ten-hour work day. So we float here in WJ, not really sure what to do with ourselves. I desperately want to make friends and find work teaching Yoga or Pilates, but it feels pointless since we're moving in five months.

It also feels very lonely.

3 comments:

  1. i hate that! i wish you didn't have to feel lonely. What a rough situation! I hate having bare walls too.

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  2. I do have to admit that there is something really special about your college town. I am literally in love with mine (Grand Rapids). My family's not even from there, but my heart aches for it. I can't imagine having the opportunity to have kids there and then buy a house! I got married there and spent my honeymoon days there and I miss it all the time.

    It took me a couple of days to realize that I haven't really ever experienced Ogden without you! I literally met you a mere 2 weeks (MAYBE) after moving here at Wasatch. Aaron and I have treasured meeting you and lots of times when we hate it here so, so much, we think, "At least we got to meet Liv and get to know her forever!"

    You can make WJ work. Loneliness is God's cry for intimacy. I know that it sucks right now, but it will get better. *Hugs*

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  3. :( ahh. I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say, but how can you ever get over Ogden? It gets in your blood, doesn't it?

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