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Monday, November 05, 2012

Mama Style - Guest Blogger Melissa

When I started thinking about this series, I thought about other women I know and how they, too, can inspire. I certainly can't give advice that will work for everyone, so I asked different mamas to contribute. Some are working mothers, some mostly stay home. Some have a newborn for the first time, others are doing it a third. Today's guest blogger is Melissa, and I met her in the most-recent LDS ward I attended in Ogden. Her son is my daughter's age, and we used to walk the Ogden River Parkway together with our newborns before her family relocated due to her husband's job.
Hi, Melissa here.  

When Livia asked me to write up a post for this blog about what makes me as a mother feel fabulous VS frumpy, my first reaction was, "Easy, no problem!" Because I don't feel like I'm a frumpyish woman. So I figured I'd probably be able to come up with something cool to share fairly easy. But then when I really started to give it some thought I could think of about ZERO big impressive things I do to de-frumpify myself.

This is me.... 25 year old ex-teacher, now stay at home mom. Two kids, one all boy... age 2 (he couldn't care less what I look like everyday). The other is currently cooking in the oven doing its best to make sure mommy feels sick as often as possible (also couldn't care less about how I look). Husband who works a lot and sometimes doesn't even see me until an hour before bed (who looks their best an hour before bed?). Which also means we're a single-income family with not much extra money to spare. I take my son on a lot of adventures but we also spend the entire day at home often. Dirty secret, still wearing a lot of clothes I had in high school- which would be like, 14 style cycles ago. Don't really care to follow the fashion and celebrity world and couldn't care less about who wore what at which social gathering. See, so I don't really have much advice to offer in the fashion department. I'm just a happy lady who needs comfy clothes that I can be scrubbing the floor, wrestling with my son, and ready to walk out the door to go to the store within a few minutes of each other. I bet you know all too well what I mean. Oh, and yes many days I think, "Nobody is going to even see me today, who cares what I look like?" No! Such a wrong attitude to have because even if nobody sees me that day I still need to feel good about myself. 

So after giving this post literally weeks of thought and drawing a complete blank, one day it hit me. I don't have any earth shattering "do this and you'll feel fabulous" advice; at least nothing that you probably haven't already heard 184712050 times. But I can share a few super simple things that I do that may spark some more ideas for you.

My first tip to moms abroad in order to spark your fabulousness (most specifically the stay at home kind). You OWE it to yourself as a human being to make sure you're taking a shower everyday. You laugh, but I can't tell you how many times I've knocked on a stay at home moms door and she opens it still in her pjs and the first thing that comes out of her mouth is, "Sorry, I look like crap and I haven't showered in like 2 days. I'm just way too busy." Yes, we as moms are super busy, but even if you're running around like a chicken with its head cut off you CAN figure out a way to break away and steal a couple of minutes for yourself in the shower. So you don't get a break until 2:00 in the afternoon, who cares? Trust me, this alone will make you feel so much more fabulous than if you skip it. 

Alright, most of you are saying "I already do that, what else you got lady?" My second tip for how I personally help myself feel fabulous... fingernail polish. Trinity (who is about the cutest dressed girl you'll ever meet) already offered an awesome tip about what's hot right now with fingernails and it's super easy. So if you missed it go here...   

When I read that post I thought, "Right on! Painting my toenails is something I can totally pull off no problem!" There's just something about a nice fresh coat of fingernail polish that will make you feel oh so fabulous. Personal favorite... HOT pink. 

Tip number three is something that I'm currently in the process of and I KNOW there's some of you out there that this might rock your world because I've seen in a lot of my friend's closets and know this is a big big problem for a lot of us. Picture it... you're in the store and see the cutest shirt ever and it's just the right price so you snag it feeling oh so proud of yourself. You get it home and can't wait to rock it the next day. But unfortunately when you go to put it on you find that you have about zero pants/accessories/whatever that match it. Happens to me ALL THE TIME. You'd think I'd learn my lesson by now. OR your closet is divided by "clothes I wear now," "my 'fat' clothes," "my 'skinny' clothes," "clothes so and so gave me and I couldn't possibly get rid of them," on and on. 

You laugh but it totally is happening all over in many many many many closets. So this is my strategy (and so far it's awesome): I turned all my hangers one direction. After I wear something and it returns from the laundry I hang it up with the hanger facing the opposite direction. At the end of the season I pull out all the clothes with hangers still facing the original direction, put them in a bag, and either check to see if any friends want them or take them to the thrift store. It makes me feel so fabulous to look in my closet and see clothes I actually like and that fit me NOW. Clothes I actually wear and pieces that totally match other pieces I own. 

And yes, sometimes it hurts when I see a shirt I like still turned the wrong way when it's time to clean out. But if I haven't worn it in the last 4 months (which would be about 122 opportunities) do I really love it that much? Then, as I'm doing this I'm saving my pennies so I can go find 1 or 2 things to buy that make me feel oh so fabulous and fit my wardrobe. Note: I know that tip can be tricky in a lot of our lives because we're woman and if you're having children your body is changing sizes rapidly often. I'm there too.  But it's easy to adjust the tip to fit you, deep down you know what you wear and don't wear. Try breaking the chains on some of the "don't wear it, don't really like it" items that are taking up room and say "adios". It makes you feel so much better, really. 

Tip number four... comes from a problem I run into all too much. I'm standing in front of my closet as the minutes are ticking by before I'm supposed to be somewhere looking nice. I'm searching and searching but yep, you guessed it... although I have a closet full of clothes I cannot find anything to wear. My anxiety build and mixes with frustration. Pretty soon I'm in a foul mood and swearing I'm not going to go now and I feel like a teenager all over again with piles of rejected clothes thrown on the bed.

I was telling a friend of mine this one day and we were laughing together because she could totally relate. But she already had it figured out and this had totally never crossed my mind. She keeps a sticky note list in her closet of five outfits she owns that are a no fail, "this looks great together" combination. Then when she finds herself in a moment like that she looks over at her list, gathers the outfit she's already planned out, and is happily on her way. Isn't that genius!?!?! Totally works too, I've tried it now. I'll tell you what, it's not fabulous to be walking out the door to a social event in a foul mood just because you're running late since you couldn't find anything to wear.

My last tip that works like pretty much all the time (especially if you're on a budget like um... probably us all), no matter what the current trend is, and looks super nice on people who have figured this out (this is my goal I'm working toward). Build a good classic wardrobe. Find great clothes that go together well in a variety of different combinations, are good quality and will last, and keep it simple. Then follow the current trends and fun styles using accessories- scarves, jewelry, headbands, etc. Because those things typically aren't going to cost you much. I have never seen a lady that follows this plan that doesn't pretty much always look nicely put together and fabulous.      

So there's a few tiny, totally easy little things I do to make me feel more fabulous and less frumpy. But honestly, you are already fabulous because you're you and you're unique and special. The most unfabulous thing you can do for yourself is start comparing yourself to everyone else (hard, I totally know). Because you're never going to be that airbrushed girl in the magazine. You may never have the body of that girl on tv who is really 15 years old but she's playing a 20 year old. Find what makes YOU fabulous, ask your friends and family what makes you fabulous, and go with it because it's YOU. And you're awesome. 

Thanks Melissa! Your post makes me want to pare down my closet again (I did it before I moved in June) to make sure I'm only holding on to things that fit me well and make me feel fabulous. And yes, I showered today!

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for your kind words, Melissa. I feel like I need to acquire a whole new ward robe. I like your idea about notes and go to outfits.


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