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Monday, August 05, 2013

A legitimate form of treatment

About 18 months ago I went off my anti-depressants. It was more of a passive event than anything else, and I've been regretting it for the last year. Our nine months in West Jordan really did a number on me and without a strong support system I slipped back into old habits of wallowing in despair all the time instead of working out of it.

Now that we're established in a new neighborhood I decided to get my brain healthy again. I looked through my insurance network for providers that won't cost $$$ so I can get back on anti-depressants and have a therapist handy for additional assistance.

Last month I had a really disappointing experience seeing my first therapist in South Salt Lake. I felt she hardly listened to me at all, especially after she started asking about my family history.

I understood that she was trying to get some background for her own sake, and that she wanted to see what in my past might have wired me to respond to stimuli the way I do today. But honestly, when I mentioned some of the details of my past, I could practically see the dollar signs light up in her eyeballs.

As she spent the majority of our session talking, I felt myself checking out. I was not interested in rehashing things in my past with which I am already at peace. I completely get that I am the way I am because of the life I've lived, and that information can be very useful to a therapist who wants to help me develop more successful coping methods. But if I want to blame my parents for the problems I'm facing now, I don't need to pay a therapist to help me do that.

I've been through therapy before to help me manage my depression. If this particular therapist had taken more time to listen, she would have understood that I was there for a consult before meeting with a psychiatrist who can help me get on the proper dosage of anti-depressants again. But since she spent so much time talking (and asking me the same questions multiple times) she missed the whole point of my visit.

One of my new friends down here gave me a suggestion for a therapist she really liked, and I'm hopeful it will be a better fit for me. It has been my experience (twice) in the past that having meds is extremely beneficial to my mental well-being. I need a therapist who understands that, not one who is practically giddy at the prospect of endless sessions with me rehashing my childhood with a sociopath father.

So here's to hoping I can get in with this new therapist and that she'll actually listen to me instead of just take all my monies and skip all the way to the bank.

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  1. I hope you can find someone who can meet your needs, I hate feeling used and that is definitely not the vibes you want from your therapist.

  2. For real. And she kept backpedalling like NO PLEASE DON'T LEAVE. And I was like, umm, bye.

  3. This post was definitely an answer to prayer. It gave me the push needed to get help, again. Thanks for being willing to talk about your struggles with depression and how you deal with it.

  4. i was just telling my hubby that some people just need meds! he didn't believe me. its true though! ihope you get the help you need.

  5. I can understand that some people are hesitant to accept medication because it seems like an easy solution. But from my experience, medication is the only thing that gets me out of my black hole long enough so I can think more like a normal person and make better decisions when faced with stressors. I wish everyone could understand that it's legit.

    It's like giving someone a key so they can finally unlock a door that has been keeping them away from happiness. The individual still has to properly use the key and do the work to open the door. But with a key, it's so much easier.

  6. Ugh I saw a lady like that one time at the BYU Health Center. I left crying and feeling like crap. I hope you can find someone better, it's definitely not worth it to put up with people like that!! Hope you can get the help you need soon, I'm right there with you on the medication route. <3


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