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Tuesday, February 04, 2014

Letting it go

I've been feeling a disconnect from my body lately. I haven't been able to trust it for the last five months, and it's been difficult.

Having been so sick for so long in the beginning of this pregnancy, I wasn't able to exercise. I couldn't get up off the couch, let alone go walking or do Yoga or lift weights. I'm grateful that in the mornings I felt well enough to work, but it was disheartening to spend my afternoons and evenings being so sick.

Getting back into a routine has been difficult, too. My body is out of shape and so unfamiliar to me now. It's discouraging to feel like I'm starting from square one when it comes to exercise. My pregnancy with Aspen I felt so proud of what my body was doing, and mostly comfortable in my new shape. I was strong and healthy. This time... not so much.

Another problem I've faced this time around is lower back pain. Every day it hurts so much I can barely move without discomfort. Some mornings, in the rush to get ready for work, I bend over to pick something up and almost fall over from the pain. I started waddling months ago just to help alleviate the pain of walking. It seems way too soon!

Surrendering my body so completely to this pregnancy is a sacrifice I'm still struggling to accept. I know change is a given, but I wasn't prepared for this. I want to do Yoga every evening and take walks with Aspen and the dog and even just get dressed without feeling such dissatisfaction and discomfort. I hate to see the unnecessary changes that have occurred in my body over the last five months! I miss the energy I used to have as a result of exercise! I don't want to buy more maternity clothes!

This has been consuming my thoughts lately, and I'm hoping that getting it out will help me let it go. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sit down and have a go with my weights in an attempt to get my arms back.

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3 comments:

  1. I wore a maternity support band for two of my pregnancies. It helped me with back pain etc. My other advice for the back pain is to stretch A LOT. Yoga would help too...since you are already good at this, I just encourage you to do the best you can in the body you have right now. (This is the support band I wore: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=10813242&mr:keyword=&mr:trackingCode=C6237567-7315-E311-A497-90E2BA285E75&mr:match=&mr:adType=pla&mr:filter=38524425766&cagpspn=plab_8866043&mr:referralID=NA&mr:ad=35201291446&mr:device=c&camp=PLAPPC-_-PID8866043&KPID=8866043)

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  2. Being pregnant definitely takes a toll on your body. There are a few things I have never had or experienced before like sinus infections, UTI to name a few until pregnancy. Its amazing what our bodies go through to grow those little babes. Hope it gets better & you can start to do more. The past few weeks when its been nice we've been going on a walk around the neighborhood its a little over a mile & pretty sad how sore my legs were the next day, seriously just a mile walk & at a slow pace since both girls walked. Reminds me how hard it is to start exercising again after you have your baby.

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    1. I was so lucky that after Aspen was born, I was paid to start exercising again after just a few weeks. I really miss being a fitness instructor, and that is one of the main reasons! Nothing beats getting paid to exercise, and to help other people get fit too.

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