The morning started with a crying baby, and it looked like the evening was going to end on the same note. It was just after 9pm and I had to run to the grocery store. Kev was finally home with Aspen and I hoped that after nursing Linc, he'd doze off in the car. I don't know why I hoped that... it is becoming quite clear that I am not going to have kids who sleep in the car. Aspen rarely ever did, even as an infant. And she certainly doesn't now.
Regardless, I hoped. But Linc stayed awake on the drive and he definitely stayed awake in the store. He screamed and screamed, no matter how I tried to soothe him. He still doesn't always take a binky, and it was proving useless that night.
In the checkout, the bagger told me to enjoy having a little crying baby while I did, because some day I would miss it. I told her I most certainly would not miss having a little crying baby who screams and holds his breath until he turns purple. She insisted that I would even miss the crying. I told her I didn't miss it when my now-(almost)-four-year-old stopped crying incessantly, and I doubt I'll miss it when this one grows out of it, too.
I don't know why I didn't just nod and smile in the first place, because this person was convinced that I will melt into a puddle of sad when my baby grows up. I should have just let her happily believe that and gone on my merry way with my purple-faced kid.
It was so ironic to have that conversation on that night, though. Earlier in the day at weekly park group I'd talked with other moms about this- about how we say such stupid things to people. One of the worst is when someone comments on how we should cherish every moment with our kids while they're young. Yes, I understand the sentiment, but it doesn't make much sense when offered in the midst of a public meltdown.
Some people are baby people, and some people are not. I am not a baby person, although I truly am enjoying Linc's infancy more than I enjoyed Aspen's (and it has nothing to do with the child; it has everything to do with me. If we were keeping track, I'd say the kids have been equally challenging, just in different ways). I do look forward to when Linc is older, and we're done with night-feedings and teething and transitioning to solid foods and all that... I look forward to him walking and talking and playing with Aspen. I think it'll be great when he's as self-sufficient as Aspen and I can watch him play and create his own little world with toys and books and his favorite shows.
However, as with Aspen's infancy, I'll do my best to be present and experience all the little moments we have now. I'll try not to be so focused on the future that I miss out on today. But I wouldn't be opposed to skipping over what appears to be colic in my six-week-old.
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