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Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Realizing limitations


Since Lincoln was born, my relationship with Aspen has improved so much. I mean, we had a good one before but it was strained significantly while I was pregnant. I think the anticipation of his arrival got to her, too. She was just as ragey as I was about the length of pregnancy, and all the uncertainties that came along with it.


It feels like she and I are on a team again, doing what we can to get this other tiny human to make it through another day. We're working together to keep him from screaming too much, and to get him to start smiling at us soon. Aspen has gotten so much better at spending time by herself while I rock Linc to sleep in another room. She no longer enters a room talking at the top of her lungs, either! Oh, the progress we're making with this toddler.




Because Aspen is such a gem, I feel a lot of anguish about how she's spending her summer. I know it's not realistic to expect that our social schedule wouldn't change after adding a second child into the mix, but it's still a very hard adjustment for me. I want us to be able to go and do all the fun things we used to, but I just can't swing it some days. Aspen has been pretty content with at least weekly park play dates, our library visits, and trips to the grocery store, but I wish I could regularly do more. It is really hard for me to admit that I'm too tired or too stressed to meet up with friends as much as we used to.

Last week I cancelled two play dates and while it was the best thing for us to stay home and try to get some rest (and by "us" I mean ME), I felt so badly telling Aspen we were no longer going to do XYZ as we had planned. Not to mention there are often outings I haven't even told her about that I secretly cancel when Linc is too fussy and I'm too exhausted.


But eventually we'll get the hang of things. And in the meantime, we're spending a lot of quality time together.

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6 comments:

  1. I'm so glad Aspen has made the transition to being a big sister so well! It gives me a lot of hope that Owen will do just as well when the time comes. Sometimes it is really hard to intentionally have a bigger age gap (like when I get asked about another kid every single stinkin day), but I know it's the right choice for our family

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    1. Hil, this age gap is seriously so perfect for our family and I'm so grateful for Aspen's maturity and understanding. Plus when they get older I'm counting on it being good then, too. My older brother and I are six years apart and I like to think we're good friends :)

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  2. I can definitely understand and relate. It's nice to go do things and get out of the house. At some point I realized I was trying to do too much it was making me stressed & onery. So basically I could only plan one thing a day even if it was something simple like the park or free school lunch. I'm starting to be able to add more things and not feel too over whelmed but it's good to listen to your instincts like the play dates you ended up canceling. Even though disappointing to tell Aspen it's not worth trying to go with lack of sleep etc.

    It sounds like Aspen is doing great as her new role as a big sister. The pictures of them together are precious.

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    1. I'm also trying to limit our activities to one per day. And mostly just so we can go somewhere with air conditioning since our house is so hot!

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  3. Awww sounds like she is getting into her big sister role .. So sweet.

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    1. She is definitely an excellent sister!

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