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Friday, August 01, 2014

Postpartum update

I am really proud of myself for getting out the camera and photographing this second child. Admittedly, yes, there will still be far less photos of him than of Aspen, but at least I'm trying! Cell phone photos just aren't the same as digital SLR when it comes to quality and I would be so mad in the years to come if I didn't have nice photos of Linc.

I love that when Aspen discovers me taking photos of her brother, she wants to join in. What I don't love is that she's usually not wearing any clothes. She's going to look at these photos when she grows up and wonder why I never made her get dressed. Listen, kid, I pick my battles around here.

Things have been going pretty well when it comes to my mental health these days. However, that doesn't mean I'm not still finding it difficult to have two kids as opposed to one. I keep forgetting that even though I don't feel like I'm going crazy, I still need to take it easy sometimes. There's nothing wrong with staying home for an entire day, and maybe just strolling the neighborhood a few times when we need a break from the house.

There are some aspects of having kids that will probably always be hard for me. It's hard to relinquish control of my life and just go with the flow. And now that there are two kids with two different flows, it can feel like I'm floating all over the place, completely unorganized. My weekly to-do list is miles long simply because I have to add mundane tasks like "unload dishwasher" and "organize mail" so I don't forget about them.

It's also hard to prioritize; which screaming child do I respond to first? What should I do when both kids are finally sleeping at the same time (TAKE A NAP, DUH)? How often should I make Linc nap on-the-go so Aspen can still maintain a social life? Little things like this stress me out as I adjust and try to get everything done in a day.

But at least this time I don't feel like leaving my family. I don't feel like I made a huge mistake having a child. I don't imagine driving my car off the road just to stop the screaming in the backseat. I still get overwhelmed, but I can remind myself that it won't last forever. And I usually believe it.

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