Friday, November 21, 2014
More to learn
Kev has been diligently following leads and getting projects done around the house the last couple of weeks. There have been so many friends and family who have come forward with suggestions and referrals and we both appreciate it so much. Kev has taken calls and sent out his resume and has another interview lined up for next week.
Unfortunately, nothing yet is happening that's more concrete than just feeling things out. It's stressful, but I know a new career for Kev won't happen overnight. We have to be patient and work hard to get him *there.*
Meanwhile, one of my friends graciously gave me her weekly shift at the gym, and I'm able to cover a few others in addition. It's a small income, but it doesn't hurt! Well, it hurts a little to juggle having both Aspen and Linc with me in the daycare, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Sometimes I can convince Kev to keep at least one of the kids home with him. But with Linc refusing bottles, it's difficult no matter what happens because he can't eat during my shifts.
I've been thinking about how grateful I am the Bishop offered to help us with the flood repairs in our home. Had we dipped right into our savings and gone ahead with repairs ourselves, we'd be less financially prepared to get through this bout of unemployment. Additionally, last week I opened an anonymous letter with a generous gift in it, accompanied only by a note wishing us a Happy Holiday, and good luck in the job search.
On Saturday I went to Kid-to-Kid to sell a box of clothes; unfortunately the line was much too long for me to stand in with two kids in tow. So I quickly grabbed a pair of snow bibs for Aspen while she looked at books. When I went to retrieve her after paying, a woman stopped me (I was wearing Linc) and offered me a bundle of boy clothes the store wouldn't buy from her. It meant so much to me that she was so kind to a stranger. When I left the store with Aspen, Linc and my big box of clothes on my hip, another woman saw me in the parking lot and took the box for me. She carried it to my car and said she remembers how hard it is to literally juggle kids and stuff all by yourself. Such a small gesture, but very considerate.
And, of course, my older brother is always taking care of me, and gave Aspen money to give to me to use for Thanksgiving (we're hosting eleventy billion people at our house this year). I told him we would be fine since everyone is chipping in and bringing different dishes to the meal, but he never accepts my refusals (although one time I managed to leave his money at his house after he tried to give it to me :)). So I had a cushion when shopping for Thanksgiving foods and I really appreciated it.
Simply put, I am blown away. I feel so undeserving of this charity. It is so much, so often. How can we pay this forward? How can we adequately express gratitude? I've been more proactive in my efforts to seek out opportunities to serve others lately, but it still doesn't feel like enough.
I shared on Instagram that I want to start giving back with my own kids. And the things I want to give them include more patience, more time, more love and more peace. I've been trying to read the scriptures on my phone while I spend so much time nursing Linc, and I've felt a difference in my life. I've never been one of those people who understood how just reading the scriptures could make life feel easier (even amidst lots of stress). I mean, I've felt better while reading my scriptures, but never before noticed it throughout my day.
My hope is that my trials won't have to negatively affect them. I don't want to keep using fatigue as an excuse to lose my temper (although four hours of sleep a night is really wearing me down). I don't want Aspen to get in the habit of saying I'm not a nice mom because I yelled about something that day. I don't want Linc's first words to be "Damn it," (although that would be pretty funny).
My other hope is that Kev will have a job very soon. Very, very soon.
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