This month I haven't been doing so well as a mom. I've been overwhelmed, and completely consumed with your sleep habits. It's exhausting. And I'm really sorry that I hate babies so much. I am. I'm so sorry.
I mean, you're seven months old! You've slept 12 hours before! You weighed 23 pounds last week when I checked! YOU COULD SLEEP LONGER. But it's just not how you are. You're not like your sister, who was sleep-trained by now and who was addicted to her binky and eventually got to the point she'd wave bye-bye when Daddy or I put her in her crib for naps and bedtime.
Interacting with these women makes me feel so much better. I feel less ashamed of how I'm reacting to your personality. I feel so much support and understanding goes on between us, since we all can relate to what it feels like to have a constantly screaming baby who doesn't sleep no matter what is tried. I read an article detailing high needs babies and it opened my eyes. I know I was a similar baby, but instead of being dependent on constant cuddles and human interaction like you, I was extremely averse.
That article also helped explain why you love Daddy during the day, but hate his guts at night. You're used to me being the only one who soothed you at night, with or without nursing (which we no longer do during the night, hallelujah and amen). Regardless of the fact you can go through the night without needing to eat in order to go back to sleep, you give Dad such a hard time when he goes into your room. You stop fussing when he opens the door, but you scream bloody murder when you realize it's him and not me.
We've tried various approaches to crying-it-out but you're not having it. You have once successfully cried yourself back to sleep for a nap, but it hasn't happened in the days that followed. So we're doing what we can to survive on four hours of sleep each night. And lemme tell ya, it ain't looking pretty.
See Aspen's monthly letter HERE.
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