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Friday, May 13, 2016

That Damn Meckel

Ever since Facebook started doing the feature that brings up memories from years past, I've been waiting for this day to arrive. I know that settings can be adjusted so certain events and people won't be included in the Facebook Memories for any given day, but in a weird way, I was looking forward to it.

It was a terrifying time, one during which I didn't know if anyone would figure out what was wrong with Kev before he bled to death. Okay, so he probably wouldn't have bled to death because blood transfusions exist, but that was just a band aid fix for the much bigger problem at hand.

Looking back over these updates, it's infuriating to remember how little seems to have been done to really treat Kev before he landed in an ambulance that morning. Once a specialist has done what s/he can, if there's nothing else to look at, you're done. Bye bye. Good luck figuring out what's wrong with you. The doctor who performed Kev's colonoscopy after his April visit to the ER told him "You're young and healthy! You'll be fine! It's probably just a bug."


I vividly remember so many seemingly random details about that day. I remember which pants I picked up off the floor and put on with my pajama top. I remember sitting on the couch, dumbfounded, talking with my neighbor after Kev left in the ambulance. I remember eating breakfast with Aspen like nothing was wrong, all the while I was freaking out about who would watch the kids for me so I could get to the hospital.

I remember nursing Linc and scrolling through my phone, not knowing who on earth to call, and then feeling prompted to call Amanda. I'm still so thankful she and her husband swooped in and helped me (and then Amanda sent me a message that watching my kids that day had been her pleasure and she was so grateful I'd called her). I remember arriving at the ER with a notebook and pen, ready to get down to business and figure out what was wrong. I remember taking Kev's phone away from him as he was barely conscious, and telling his mom we'd have to talk to her later since Kev was about to receive his first blood transfusion.

I remember my brother arriving at the hospital and setting up camp with me for the next five days in the hospital and, subsequently, at my house. I think I had a sandwich in my purse the first day, but I don't remember eating much, and worried my milk supply would dwindle.

I remember being so grateful Seth was with me. I didn't have to sit by myself and listen to the worries cycle endlessly in my head. He was someone to talk with and just be with when I couldn't be with Kev. I remember going to Amanda's mid-day and nursing Linc, feeling such relief both physically and emotionally. I was so grateful to leave his sleeping little body on a dog bed on the floor of Amanda's room (still makes me giggle) so I could return to Kev.

I remember the gratitude I felt for Matt and Alissa when Matt offered to spend the night in the ICU with Kev so I could go home with my kids and try to sleep. There was also dinner waiting for me when I got home since my neighborhood family was doing what they could to help.

It's hard to believe the medical staff was just grasping at straws that first day. There was absolutely no bleeding from a biopsy site in Kev's colon. The bleed was coming from his large intestines because his birth defect was filling the intestines with stomach bile, which they aren't suited to handle. It must have been so difficult for them to come up empty after the many, many scopes they did that first day. I think Kev had at least three colonoscopies and one endoscopy the day he was admitted.

Reliving this experience via these Facebook prompts is a nice reminder that life is good, and it helps me put things into perspective. So what if Linc has a tantrum for at least an hour every day? At least his dad is still alive to come home and deal with him for me at the end of the day.

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