Monday, July 18, 2016
Michelle Hall's Funeral
Aspen spent many hours with Michelle, making cards with her and enjoying her craft hoard. She gave Aspen pages of stickers and scrapbook paper for art projects, and they also picked flowering chives so Aspen could bring plants home after their visits with one another. Whenever we had a rain storm, Michelle and I would send messages back and forth worrying about potential flooding, or asking how the dogs were doing with the flooding. She's also the neighbor I'd call on last-minute to sit in my house when Linc was napping and I needed to pick up Aspen from school.
Michelle's liver failed and she ended up spending a week in the hospital. After she was discharged, she only lasted a couple of days at home before she was admitted again. On the 4th I called the hospital trying to find her but they didn't have record of her in their system. Time got away from me and she died in the hospital a few days later, without me being able to visit her. I feel awful about it, and wish I'd been able to say goodbye. I know she wasn't very coherent, but it's difficult not having closure when someone passes away.
Michelle often told me I'm a good mom, even though I know she heard me yell at my kids in the backyard on more than one occasion. I know she heard them fighting with one another, and that she saw once saw Aspen hit Linc in the face with a shovel. But she always complimented me on their good qualities and just laughed off the hard stuff about parenting. She never made me feel like I wasn't doing a good job trying to keep these kids alive and well. She was always so encouraging and supportive and I appreciated it so much.
Her funeral was Saturday and I was asked to sing a hymn during the program. I broke down bawling the first time I practiced it on my own, but right up until the rehearsal with my accompanist I did fine. However, I only made it through one verse during the service before I lost it. Thankfully my talented pianist continued playing while I choked on my own voice. I was able to speak the words of the hymn as the music played, and hopefully it wasn't too distracting to the loved ones in attendance. I'm honored I was able to participate in some teeny tiny way to show others Michelle meant a lot to our family, and that we miss her.
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