I'm participating in an online writing group hosted by Ann Dee Ellis. She gives a prompt and encourages 8 minutes of uninterrupted writing. Here's today's exercise:
The boys I dated in college often played games. And not the fun kind.
I always felt a step behind, unsure of where I stood, but not wanting to have one of those dreaded "determine the relationship" talks. How come a boy didn't call when he said he would? How come a boy who did call didn't seem to actually want to date? How come a boy would let everyone think we were dating even when we weren't? How come I fell for guys who didn't fall back?
Why did I even want to date at all?!
For something that is constantly drilled into our heads from the time we're children, dating and marrying isn't all it's cracked up to be. And there's no guarantee that there will be a "happily ever after," so how come no one ever talks about the hard stuff? Why are we led to believe getting married is the culmination of all that hard work, and it's smooth sailing from then on out?
I got lucky when I met Kev. We were able to communicate that we wanted to date each other, and only each other. And while there were struggles and differences to overcome, we managed. There wasn't any false hope or unanswered questions when it came to the big picture. He didn't forget to call (although he was usually late for everything), he didn't flirt with other girls, he didn't get jealous of all the time I spent going to school or working, and he didn't tear me down to build himself up.
We didn't play those games, yet it still feels like we won something.
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