LIV(E)

Penny for your thoughts, Month 18

2012-01-27T08:00:00.005-07:00

Penny Poo Pants-

Who the heck are you?! Your personality is coming out larger than life itself. You are funny and mean and happy and kind and climb-y and kissy and huggy and lovey.

You have been repeating more of your friends' names lately, and I love it. You CONSTANTLY ask for "Ni" and "KKKKK," who I know you love more than me... but seriously... every day you ask me if you can play with them (Zjani, Makayla and Konnor). You also learned to say "Emmy" and it's probably the cutest of all the names you say. Sometimes you walk to the front door saying "Emmy" and "Yao" so we take advantage of them being our neighbors and bug them all the time. It's nice.

This month you also started nursey in full-force. Mama and Dada took turns spending some time in there with you, and then we all realized you're fine to be without us. So Mama abandoned you on your second visit. The leaders don't mind that you started a little early since you usually have a great time playing bubbles, eating snacks, and learning awesome songs. You quickly picked up the rhyme they teach for getting everyone settled and ready for the lesson. It's adorable to watch you move your hands and arms for it.

As you continue growing, we're settling into an afternoon-nap-routine. Which is alright if you keep letting Mama shower while you watch SuperWhy! in the mornings. Then, depending on the day, we get to go to the gym, or Discovery Time (Library) or to the playgroup some of our friends host at the church. We still visit the Treehouse Museum often, and now that the weather is rainy we meet friends at the mall playground too. But maybe we should back up and talk about SuperWhy! for a minute.

YOU. ARE. OBSESSED. It's on at 9am weekday mornings, and while you eat your breakfast beforehand, you ask for Why. When you're watching it, you climb onto the TV stand and hit the screen, yelling WHY! WHY! WHY! We usually take a TV break while we run errands, play with friends, eat lunch, nap, etc... and then after dinner you start asking for Why again. So I plug you into the 4 episodes we have on DVD and you're the happiest little girl in the world. I think you plan to marry Why when you grow up. That $5 DVD was the best money I've ever spent on a babysitter (I'm kidding. I usually watch it with you).

Something NOT so adorable is your new habit of hitting. You smacked me in the face during playgroup and completely took me off guard. But you are learning that after you hit, you can say "HI!" and then hug to make it all better. At least you think you're making it all better. Hopefully we can keep working on that.

We're also continually working on what you eat. While Mama is still "sneaking" healthy elements into your meals, I'm also just trying new things. You loved salsa and chips, which is great because Mama is going to count that as a vegetable. It was also great when you ate taco soup. Are you trying to tell us you like Mexican? Because we can start eating at Costa Vida all the time if you want.

My little Penny, Mama and Dada love you so much. We love your hugs and your laugh and your loud and insistent calls for "MADDIEEEEEEEE!" every morning when you get up. It so so great to hear you talk so much and ask for the things you need/want. Let's keep that up so the tantrums can stop, mmmk?

Loves,
Mama

Tiny Dancer

2012-01-26T08:00:00.002-07:00

Let that be a lesson to ya.

2012-01-25T08:00:00.003-07:00

Once a week I teach an early-morning Yoga class. Due to recent snow, I made sure to get up half an hour earlier than usual so I could clear my car and drive as slowly as necessary to get to the gym. The roads were actually great so I had more than enough time to get ready and head out.

I'm required to get to the gym 15 minutes prior to the class start time so I can set up and welcome participants. On this particular snowy morning, no one had arrived at the start time, so the fitness attendant and I watched the clock until the requisite time had passed and we could cancel.

Ten minutes finally ticked by so we started to pack up the sound equipment and extra mats. I joked that as soon as I got both snow boots on and laced, someone would waltz in and expect to start some Yoga.

Which is exactly what happened.

The participant thought we were kidding when the attendant and I explained classes cannot be taught to just one person due to safety protocol. The participant said she'd made the effort to come, so she really wanted me to teach the class regardless. I told her I couldn't do it, and also told her I'd made an effort to show up as well, so it's a bummer for me to turn around and go home too.

What I really wanted to tell her was I made an effort to show up on time. There's nothing more exhausting than getting up at 5am for nothing.

I'm always surprised at how late some people show up for a class. They skip warm ups and jump right into the Yoga practice with seemingly no awareness of their body and its needs for a safe workout. When I expressed this frustration to the fitness attendant, she suggested I start shutting the door once class begins. They're automatically locked, and that should send a message to participants that we need to start on time to allow ourselves adequate warm up, work out, and cool down.

What would you do if you showed up late for a class and found yourself locked out? Would you learn to come on time, or would you just be pissed? The policy at one of my gyms is to prohibit attendance if class is more than five minutes underway, which seems more than reasonable to me. But I fear people won't learn anything about time management; they'll just bang on the door until someone lets them in (which would be even more distracting than someone coming in late).

I'm just not sure what to do...

Out with the old, in with the new.

2012-01-24T08:00:00.001-07:00

Picnik is closing in April, and until then all their premium features are available for free use. I'm sad about their transition to something with Google, but I'm having fun using the new features for photo editing.

Believe it or not, but I didn't touch Aspen's eyes in this photo. They're slightly out of focus, but that is their original brightness and color.

Lucky girl.

Random Recipe

2012-01-23T08:00:00.002-07:00

On Saturday, Kev, Aspen and I attended a potluck party with some friends and enjoyed a lot of different and delicious foods. I was so excited that I only had to make one dish, but I got to eat like, 7 others too. Best way to enjoy dinner.

I was brave and made a meal that was new to me, but thankfully it turned out quite edible. And my cookies were a hit too (even though they didn't look enough like poop for my liking).

Broccoli and Shrimp Quinoa
1/2 C sun dried tomatoes
1.5 C vegetable/chicken broth or stock
1 C finely chopped onion
3 cloves finely chopped garlic
1/4 C lemon juice
1 C quinoa
2 C broccoli florets
10 medium shrimp (I used frozen, and more than 10)

-Heat some olive oil in a large skillet and cook the shrimp for about 2 minutes.
-Remove the shrimp and add the onion and garlic to the skillet, cooking until soft.
-Add lemon juice, broth and quinoa. Bring to a boil and simmer (covered) for 15 minutes.
-Add broccoli, tomatoes and shrimp. Simmer for 5 minutes.

I adapted this from the organic cookbook Amazon was giving away free for Kindle users (thanks Mandi for the hookup) and just used what I had. Which happens to be NOT organic. But hey, I still used vegetables. And even though Kev doesn't love seafood, he still ate this. Score!

We're nothing if not classy.

2012-01-20T08:00:00.002-07:00

Thanks to the great windstorm of 2011, the Pink House is getting a brand-spanking-new roof. When the insurance appraiser came to see our house, he was like, um yeah. They stopped making these shingles during the war.

So, thank you insurance company. We're looking forward to being done with this project like you wouldn't believe.

After the first day of roof demo, Craig's team of workers had made a hefty pile of debris surrounding the house. This is the view out the back door... so Maddie had to pee in the front yard like a true white trash pet.

All the old shingles were cleaned up as of Sunday night, so we just have this gorgeous industrial addition to the front of the house for now. Once the wet weather subsides, work will resume and the shingles will be cut and affixed like a shiny new hat for our home.

And since Kev has been able to do some of the work with Craig, he's actually making a little money that we can put toward the deductible. That makes the hefty sum a little easier to swallow.

Yea for a new roof!

That one time we went to the library AND the Treehouse Museum in the same day.

2012-01-18T08:00:00.001-07:00

Aspen's first watercolor will soon be available for purchase in various-sized reproductions.

We're so glad you've come.

2012-01-17T12:41:00.006-07:00

When I crawl back into bed at 7:30am, I know I only have a few minutes. I almost never fall asleep again because I'm just waiting for Kev's alarm to go off, or for Aspen's morning cries to carry from her room to mine. Regardless, I burrow under the covers and hope for a few minutes of rest.

When I finally hear Aspen awake and ready to start her routine, I find myself missing the days when she was young enough to get in bed with me, nurse for a few minutes, and then doze off again. Who would have thought that I'd long for last winter, when night-time sleep was interrupted, but morning cuddles were plentiful?

Despite Kev's protests, some mornings I crawl into Aspen's crib with her for some hugs. I play with her hair while she jabbers about what I can only assume were eventful dreams, or her plans for the day. Sometimes she uses me as a launching pad, sometimes she uses me as a pillow. I'm happy to wrap up in blankets that smell like baby soap and lotion and enjoy some quiet moments before we hit the ground running.

We're in a tough phase right now, with Aspen asserting more independence every day. But with those developments, she's also experiencing more frustration as she discovers what she still doesn't know. The tantrums can be exhausting for all of us, so I will try to remember the sweetness of our relationship to carry me through. I'll remember the feel of her fingers wrapped around one of mine. The weight of her head on my shoulder while her body drapes over my chest. I'll remember how I longed for this daughter of mine.

And now she is here.

Oh, isn't this a good time?

2012-01-16T15:15:00.003-07:00

It's so great when Daddy is home alone with Aspen and can teach her new things.

Kev felt really badly when he realized he'd accidentally showed her how to get these drawers open... she would have figured it out eventually, but her ignorance was nice while it lasted.

(Thanks to Aunt JuJu for this cuuuute top!)

What Wednesday looked like in photographs.

2012-01-13T08:00:00.011-07:00

READ!!

2012-01-12T08:00:00.003-07:00

Disclosure: I have been compensated for my participation in this BlogHer Book Club discussion, but the opinions expressed are 100% my own.

I've never believed in dieting. Mostly because I don't have the will-power to limit myself to certain foods, or certain quantities of food. Who would do that to themselves, anyway?!

In all seriousness, the book "Why Women Need Fat," by William Lassek and Steven Gaulin, has been reinforcing my belief that dieting is NOT the way to successfully lose and maintain weight. Yes, you can change what you eat permanently and change how you live, but dieting alone is probably not going to work.

The doctors/authors have studied the body and targeted the hypothalamus as the culprit behind diet failures. The hypothalamus is in charge of all the body's operations, and when we decide to diet, it doesn't care one little bit about our intentions. Instead, it goes into survival mode. The body will probably shed pounds for a few weeks, but eventually the hypothalamus will put a stop to it, which is why many people plateau with weight loss even after stepping up the exercise routine. The hypothalamus works hard to conserve what calories are being consumed since it believes there is no longer enough food available to the body.

Some of the scientific and nutrition talk is boring to me, but I am interested by the facts that support my long-held theory that dieting is a waste of time. You can't fight the weight your body believes you need to be. Lassek and Gaulin theorize that there is a set weight that each body is born with. Once the individual reaches that set weight, they can stay there for as long as it's necessary. Meaning when women get pregnant, the set weight is altered. And after pregnancy, the set weight may be redefined to allow the woman to successfully have future pregnancies with healthy babies. Now, if you'd like to know why so many people gain back more weight than they lost (while dieting) you'll have to read this book yourself.

Seriously. You can borrow my copy!

Random Recipe

2012-01-11T08:00:00.001-07:00

I got this from my Betty Crocker cookbook and I was surprised when Aspen gobbled it up like a starving fat kid. Like, on multiple occasions too. AND when I made this dish, it looked just like the photo. Eat that, Betty Crocker!

Cornbread-topped Sausage Casserole

Casserole
1lb Italian sausage
1 medium onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped (I just used some garlic powder)
1 15oz can tomato sauce
1 can corn

Cornbread topping
2/3 C cornmeal
1/3 C flour
1/2 C milk
1 T sugar
2 T vegetable oil
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 egg
*I added a couple tablespoons of wheat germ, and probably 1/2 C ground almonds as well

1. Heat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Brown sausage with the onion, bell pepper and garlic over medium heat, until sausage is no longer pink (about 10 mins). Drain, and add the tomato sauce and corn until mixture comes to a boil. Remove from heat.
3. While sausage is cooking, mix all the cornbread toppings together in a separate bowl. Beat vigorously with spoon about 30 seconds.
4. Spoon sausage mixture into ungreased 2-qt casserole dish. Pour cornbread topping over the sausage and spread evenly.
5. Bake uncovered 20-25 mins, or until cornbread topping is golden.

The recipe also calls for mushrooms to be added with the tomato sauce and corn, but I didn't have any (and I don't like them). Additionally, you can add monterey jack cheese to the cornbread for some zing. But since I'm lactose intolerant (and was already going to deal with stupid milk in this recipe) I omitted the cheese.

I didn't know bunnies liked the snow so much.

2012-01-10T08:00:00.002-07:00

This little pink bunny was so excited about the snowfall we discovered on Saturday morning. All throughout the day, she kept looking out the window and yelling "NOOOOO!!" But it was different than her usual, stern "NOOOOO!!" This time, she meant "snow!!"

In the late-afternoon I finally consented to taking her outside to play. And she loved it. She cried when I made her come inside to get dry, warm mittens (to replace her soggy, cold ones). But then we went back out on the front walk and she was thrilled again.

While I may not like the snow even a little bit, I do like watching her play in it. But only when she keeps her mittens on.

Looking for Daddy

2012-01-09T08:00:00.003-07:00

Aspen has learned to say "Daddy work!" to explain why he isn't at home with us all day. Depending on her mood, she either plays shy when Kev gets home, or she freaks out with excitement.

One evening Maddie and Aspen trolled the hall after Kev got home and slipped into the bathroom. Aspen was looking for Daddy while Maddie was just looking for dropped crackers.

When Aspen realized where Daddy was hiding, she got on the floor and started poking her fingers under the bathroom door. So clever, that one. It's amazing how quickly she is learning to play and to talk. She loves to repeat everything I say to her, and she loves to ask for Super Why, one of her favorite PBS shows. The characters dance at the end of every episode, and she tries to wave her arms just like them.

Aspen is really becoming a little girl, and it's awesome.

Four Simple Goals

2012-01-06T08:00:00.002-07:00

Near the end of 2010, I set 4 simple goals for myself. They carried over into 2011, and while some are on-going, others are not.

To refresh your memory, I set a goal to overcome my hesitance to ask others for help. I also decided to read more books, love my post-baby body, and to cook more.

I am still reading a lot, I love my post-baby body and I'm no longer afraid to ask others for help. So for some simple goals in 2012, I'm going to do the following:
To elaborate, I'm going to incorporate more of The Sneaky Chef's tips into my family's everyday diet. Taking small steps we'll eat more fresh foods rather than processed. I know this will be a journey, and we'll have to learn to like different tastes and textures, but it will be worth it. We will eat more healthy! Yes, some days Aspen will eat frozen chicken nuggets for lunch and I'll have BBQ chips with my tuna sandwich, but that's ok!

I have an Old Navy credit card that has carried a balance since Aspen was born. It's small, but I never put forth the effort to pay it off with my Yoga/Pilates money. It has been paid off before, but for some reason I've neglected it the last 18 months. So, this year it will achieve a zero balance.

As for my time, I aim to keep a simple log of what I do during the day. I'll look over it each week and see where I can cut back on unnecessary activities, like TV, Internet, or reading (when I could be doing something more productive).

When it comes to my prayers, I'd just like to remember to keep a prayer in my heart every day. Instead of getting frustrated and feeling like giving up, I'd rather say a short prayer to help me put things into perspective. Instead of drifting off to sleep with a silent prayer running through my head, I'd rather kneel and stay awake for one.

So there you have it. Three brand-new goals and one that will further develop from 2010. Do you have any goals? And no, these are not New Year's Resolutions! Those are dumb.

Starting small

2012-01-05T08:00:00.003-07:00

I'm still slowly but surely adapting some regular recipes to include more healthy ingredients. However, I still haven't had a free afternoon to just blend, mix, puree and prepare some of those ingredients ahead of time.

When I made pancakes this week (mixing the batter one of my new Pyrex bowls, thank-you-very-much), I just added wheat germ and a banana. I wanted to add almonds as well, but they're still just slivered and not pureed so I knew Aspen wouldn't go for that.

These cook books are just plain awesome. So many recipes are so easy, especially if you're just adding a little something to a prepared food, like pancake mix or even boxed macaroni and cheese. It really is about enhancing what you already eat, and possibly creating a few other things from scratch to improve your diet.

I was so happy to watch Aspen gobble up two banana pancakes for dinner, even if she wouldn't touch the eggs. I'm really trying to focus on the successes we're having rather than the setbacks. I know that with patience, we're laying a foundation on which she can build good eating habits, and I'm getting into good habits as well. Preparing more food from scratch helps me know exactly what we're eating; and it helps me avoid lactose as well because holy cow... that still makes me sick to death.

Other things we've eaten lately with "secret" ingredients include tacos (with wheat germ, tofu, blueberries and spinach), chicken salad (with wheat germ, tofu, and white beans), meatloaf (with wheat germ, blueberries, and spinach) and pizza (with carrots, sweet potatoes and tofu).

Have you been making any sneaky meals lately? Feel free to share your success!

That one time I bribed Aspen in order to do her hair.

2012-01-04T08:00:00.001-07:00

Heavens to Betsy, doing Aspen's hair is ridiculous! Usually I have to let it flop around her head all day, every day because she just pulls clips/elastics right out. But for some reason, I was determined that she'd have a styled coif on Monday.

I did successfully pull it into an elastic in the morning, but the aftermath of her much-appreciated nap left her with a total fro on one side of her head. For round two, I had to resort to the Bumbo and a gigantic lollipop. Worked like a charm.

I just don't understand why Aspen doesn't want to let me up her cute factor by, like, a million with a hairstyle.

Jesus wants me for a sunBEAM!

2012-01-03T08:00:00.002-07:00

On Sunday, Kev escorted Aspen to the nursery at church. It's the program designated for kids 18 months to 3(?) years and it's basically two hours of playing with toys, looking at pictures related to the Gospel, eating snacks, popping bubbles, singing songs and practicing praying. In other words, before I had Aspen, it was my idea of torture. But now that I am a parent who regularly employs many of the same methods for teaching and entertaining a child 24/7, I think it's the best thing ever.

The nursery leaders are really wonderful. Kev spent the first hour with Aspen (since she's not 18 months we're not supposed to leave her alone in there yet) and then I came in for the second hour. She was pretty hesitant to get involved without me holding her, but eventually she'll get used to it. The other children are super-adorable and who can turn down free snacks?!

For the next month Kev and I will probably switch off taking her to the class and then we're totally cutting her off. I mean, if she cries non-stop the leaders will just find one of us and give her back, so she has options. But seriously, nursery will be much more enjoyable than sitting with the grown ups in grown up classes. Did I mention the FREE SNACKS?

Hopefully being in nursery will offset the fact that church is now right during Aspen's nap time. As it is, the first Sunday of the new schedule, she didn't nap until almost FIVE PM. I wanted to die. And I only let her sleep for an hour since I didn't want her staying up all night. Ugh. So yeah. Nursery should be fun.

We're like, MAGNETS for free stuff.

2012-01-02T08:00:00.001-07:00

Kev acquires many things. Some useful, some not. Recently, he came into possession of a set of three matching tables: one of the coffee variety, one of the end variety, and one of the sofa variety.

Seeing as how we have need for almost none of those, Kev put them up for sale on KSL classifieds. Then we decided to keep the sofa table and he sold the other two before Christmas.

We put the sofa table in the hallway and turned it around so the drawers are facing the wall. No need to tempt Miss Aspen with exciting nooks and crannies to explore!

I'm really happy to have the sofa table in the hall because it takes up much less room (physically and visually) than the old cedar chest we used to have there. And I love that it's tall enough for me to put pretty things on it out of Aspen's reach.

The typewriter was a gift from my brother, and the metal tea-light lantern is from Kev (an old estate sale find). The painting is from Yao, our token Asian friend, and symbolizes success in marriage. The red shoes were hand-me-downs to Aspen from Kev's brother, and the old copies of Sherlock Holmes came from Amazon many years ago.

I'm so glad when Daddy is home.

2011-12-30T15:29:00.006-07:00

I've been taking advantage of Kev being home by leaving the house during Aspen's nap. It is so nice to go to the grocery store without worrying about boring her to death. Or having her scream bloody murder for something I'm not going to buy.

Sometimes I get a little crazy and visit antique/thrift stores without a toddler in tow. WOO!! This glassware caught my attention in a basement on 25th street and it was hard to resist them. I wanted just one, but then I felt badly breaking up this beautiful set. So I had to walk away. Aren't they great though?!

If this cute owl hadn't still been full of old perfume, I totally would have bought it. Actually, I left the candy dishes (below) to be price-checked and maybe if they're inexpensive, I'll just go ahead and get the stinky owl anyway. It was labled as an Avon perfume jar, and seriously, it's ancient. And adorable.

The dishes weren't labled, but I'm in love with them. I want them on my dresser, holding jewelry. Currently, my rings are being stored in an old face lotion jar. Classy! If these dishes aren't a million dollars I'm totally going back for them.

Let's keep our fingers crossed that they're inexpensive enough that I can at least purchase one. Pretty please.

Let's not talk about what my camera phone did to this photo-opp.

2011-12-29T19:42:00.000-07:00

Okay. So. My real camera doesn't always focus when taking photos. And my camera phone is 3+ years old and does THIS to the occasional photo:

Super-lame. But at least you can still see the vintage Pyrex!!

Kev, Aspen and I went to DI this week to drop off a lot of stuff and we decided to browse. He needed a big frame for a painting from China and I wanted to see if I could find more Pyrex. Gail sent me a casserole dish for Christmas and it got me yearning for more.

Each dish had a matching lid (YES!!) and the cashier ended up charging me way less than they were priced. I got all four pieces for only $3.50. I couldn't believe it. My good fortune continued into the next day as well, when I found MORE Pyrex at a different thrift store and once again paid less than sticker price for everything.

I have one more thrift store in Ogden to visit in my quest for more Pyrex. I'm still pretty bummed that I missed out on some in Syracuse a couple of weeks ago. But c'est la vie. It's more fun to wander a store anyway, and to feel that rush of excitement when you spot something amazing amongst a pile of junk.

Penny for your thoughts, month 17

2011-12-27T20:57:00.002-07:00

Dearest Henny Penny-

I think you need to be told that you have the BEST sign ever for my brother Seth. THE BEST. Whenever I ask you to say "Seth," you sign "phone." You wanna know why? Because from the time you could hold your head up by yourself, your Uncle Seth has been showing you weird videos on his cell phone. It was his plan from the beginning to brainwash you into loving him the most. I think it's working.

Other things of note include your chatty personality. You are always jibber jabbering, and I have no idea where on earth you learned how to be so talkative. Certainly not from me. Obviously. Your vocabulary keeps growing, and I'm sorry you already know the word "butt." And "poop." It's just, that's what those things are called, and I wipe one off the other 100 times a week, so yeah. Those words get said in our house. It could be worse.

We survived a crazy windstorm this month, and it was unbelievable. Thankfully, though, the wind and the noise it caused didn't bother you. Once I barricaded the door to keep it from blowing open, it became a non-issue... kind of. We also got to spend some time in a warm tent at your friends' house IN THE LIVING ROOM. Isn't that awesome? Beckett and Anabelle were so kind to allow us to crash at their place for a little while to pass the time during the windstorm. And then GG arrived in Utah and took us to a hotel so we wouldn't freeze to death in our Pink House.

Oh, and we can't forget to highlight another recent development that has thrown Mama for a loop. You suddenly decided to stop napping in the morning. So now, instead of taking a nap around 11am, you stay awake until THREE IN THE AFTERNOON when you finally crash. It's been a horrible transition, but we'll get through it. I hope.

Christmas with you this year was amazing, to say the least. We received some free toys that you enjoy, and many many many books. I'll never forget the look on your face when you pulled your kitty cat out of the box. It was like love and reverence and bliss all mixed up into one big smile on your chubby little face. Daddy and I loved watching you tear open all the gifts you received from friends and family.
It's hard to keep up with all the changes you're going through, Miss Penny. You're trying so hard to talk to us, you're trying so hard to be a big girl and stay awake all day, you're trying so hard to be the boss of your meals... and I know you're just growing and developing and figuring things out. We're here to teach you new words, rock you to sleep, and sneak broccoli onto your plate. Mama and Daddy love you so so so much, boo-boo-ba-choo. You're the best present we've ever received and we have never, ever wished we could send you back. Except maybe when you're teething.

Loves,
Mama

Best $15 I ever spent.

2011-12-25T18:45:00.003-07:00

We had a fantastic Christmas. For church we enjoyed an hour of music and talks focused on the birth of the Savior. Afterward we tore open presents and spent the entire day together as a family. Aspen knows how to unwrap gifts, and she also knows that she loves kitty. It was by far the most-cherished thing she received this Christmas (watching her carry it around 24/7 is very rewarding).

Kev and I also received a number of generous gifts, both anonymous and not. We truly appreciate all that was given to us, and for the opportunity we had to share this time with each other. I anticipate Christmas will keep getting better the older Aspen gets. She had a wonderful day and we were so happy to watch her enjoy everything.

Merry Christmas!

Merry ZooLights!

2011-12-23T20:14:00.001-07:00

It was probably, I dunno, like, 12 degrees on Thursday. But that didn't stop us from going to see the ZooLights in SLC. We had a coupon to admit up to 6 people for only $3 each, so we braved the elements and headed south.

Thankfully Seth came too and did a lot of baby-carrying. Because, of course, the new-to-me stroller I just got (for Christmas! yea!) was not good enough for Aspen. She loves loves loves to be snuggled.

Aspen was bundled in like, 2 pairs of pants, 2 long-sleeve shirts and this giant, pink fleece suit. And she had 1 hat and 2 hoods. I think she was almost warm.

Somehow I convinced Emilie that this would be a fun outing, so she and Yao joined us in freeeezing half to death. We did stay about an hour, so I'm pretty proud of our stamina. It also helped that we spent some time in one of the monkey houses and I stuck my hands between the radiator grills.

When we'd had all the fun we could handle, we went back to Seth's to spend the night and kick off the start of a bona-fide Christmas vacation (Kev may or may not be using the last of his PTO to stay home until 2012).

Merry Christmas!

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...

2011-12-22T08:00:00.001-07:00

Some days I feel like I'm failing Aspen when it comes to helping her eat and sleep enough. She's so independent that I give up trying to force her to do anything. I find myself telling Kev that I just have to pick my battles.

Thankfully, The Sneaky Chef cookbook gave me some ideas for how to overcome the obstacle that is Aspen's stubborn attitude and get her to eat more healthy, even if she's still eating the same old things as usual.

For one, I add wheat germ to her morning oatmeal. So, even though it's instant oatmeal, it's that much healthier. Wheat germ offers a whole lotta nutrients in a small serving, so Aspen gets extra vitamin E, folic acid and magnesium (to name a few).

I also add tofu to pasta sauce, which offers a lot of protein and iron, and is basically undetectable. When we made pizza on Sunday I added white beans, carrots and sweet potatoes to the sauce. Aspen DEVOURED it. Sucker!

Taking more advice from the Sneaky Chef, I cooked some edamame at lunch one day and started eating it in front of Aspen. She was eating her own food, but eventually found mine super-interesting. After playing with a couple of beans on her own, she eventually popped one in her mouth. Once she realized it was pretty good, she ate a few handfuls.

I know we'll always be going back and forth when it comes to eating success and failure, but lately this is the pick-me-up I've needed. I don't just want Aspen to eat, I want her to eat well. After the holidays I'm going to take a day to prepare all the "secret ingredients" that go into foods Aspen loves, like chicken nuggets, pizza, waffles, yogurt and oatmeal. Then I can literally just mix in the extra nutrients she otherwise wouldn't get from crappy foods. I know that some days all she'll eat is a roast beef sandwich from Arby's (DON'T JUDGE ME!) but other days we'll do better.

Have any tips and tricks of your own to share? I will take as many as I can get.

Idosyncrasy

2011-12-21T08:00:00.003-07:00

I have this thing.

Even after Aspen was born, I've always had a problem with leaving the house unshowered. Or un-make-upped. I often look back to the weekend we came home with Aspen and I shudder because my sister took me to Wal-Mart and I wore "LOUNGE PANTS." What is wrong with me?!

I was thinking about it Monday as I left to teach a Pilates class. I felt like such a bum wearing workout clothes while loading Aspen in the car. I didn't want my neighbors to think that at 4 in the afternoon I was leaving my house in my PJs. There are times when I run an errand after teaching a class and I convince myself people are judging me for wearing yoga pants in public. Like, "hey, there goes another frumpy mom!"

I AM NOT A FRUMPY MOM, I SWEAR!!

If I had a good enough memory, I bet I could count on one hand how many times in the last 17 months I've left my house without actually getting ready for the day. I don't know why it's such a big deal to me, but it is. I especially hate when I'm sick and Kev comes home to find me in the same nasty PJs I was wearing when he left me on my deathbed. The man works hard, and the least I can do is shower every day.

Do any of you feel even a little bit like this? It's a slightly neurotic, I know. But if I can't even make a small effort to look nice, what is Aspen going to take away from that? I get her dressed almost every single day, so I can't have her showing me up (although I'll never look as good in leggings as she does with her deliciously chubby legs).

Maybe she wants to nap on the floor... ???

2011-12-20T08:00:00.002-07:00

It doesn't seem to matter how tired Aspen is, she obviously thinks naps are lame. Duh!

Regardless, I still try to make her take one every day. And she tries to make me understand SHE DOES NOT WANT ONE.

I don't know why I try to control her. She's a little person with her own thoughts and ideas and plans for the day. Naps just don't fit in with all the rolling around on the floor, the watching of the Baby Signing Time, the playing with the friends, and the teasing of the dog while carrying around a cup of snacks.

Completely unrelated to naps: Aspen is OBSESSED with this purple Tinkerbell bedtime blanket. I honestly don't know where she picked up that characteristic because I did NOT still sleep with my baby blankies until I was 12. DID NOT!! I do try to limit how often this blanket is dragged around the house, though. And it is washed every week with her crib bedding. And she doesn't suck on it, thank goodness.

It's great she has a lovey thing that makes her happy. She only gets binkies when it's time to sleep (or during church to keep her head from spinning in circles during Sacrament meeting), so it's wonderful she feels comfortable with this blanket during (unsuccessful) naps and bedtime. Kev has tried to get her to carry around something smaller so she stops tripping and falling on her face, but a substitute is completely unacceptable. This girl knows what she wants. And what she doesn't want is a nap. Duh!

My Christmas star

2011-12-19T08:00:00.002-07:00

I was able to create a Christmas card free with Staples this year, and this is the result. Last year they were free via Shutterfly, and without these offers, I probably wouldn't go through the hassle of sending out cards.

So, if you didn't get one in the mail, rest assured it's simply because I only got 20 and had to be very selective. If you got one, consider yourself extra special.

Merry Christmas!

When it rains, it pours.

2011-12-16T08:00:00.001-07:00

I had really good intentions when I started dinner at 3pm one afternoon.

For Christmas I asked Kev to get me Deceptively Delicious, that cookbook that tells you to puree healthy food and bake it into brownies (and the like). But then I started looking online some more and I realized there's an even better (and original) cookbook based on the same concept.

So I got both from the library to see which I wanted. For the record, The Sneaky Chef is way better than the rip-off version published by Jessica Seinfeld. That means I changed my one and only Christmas-wish item at the last minute. Happy shopping, Kev!

Anyway, I started a from-scratch recipe that seemed easy enough. But then the blender wasn't working. Aspen and I went across the street to borrow one from Emilie and Yao while Maddie frantically clawed the heck out of the front window. Then Aspen was scared of the blender and made me hold her while I tried to puree. Then the dog started barking because another neighbor was dropping off Christmas goodies. Then I spilled tofu juice all over the counter. Then I locked Aspen (crying) in the living room with Baby Signing Time.

Then 1.5 hours later I finally put the ziti in the oven to bake.

Phew!

Really, though, this whole sneaky healthy food thing is going to be nice. I plan to invest in a food processor/blender that works so I can prepare the purees in one sitting. Then I'll just grab the portion I need and throw it into meals as I go. And hopefully things will go more smoothly in the future.

Otherwise, we're going to be eating a whole lot of Little Caesar's $5 pizza when dinner doesn't turn out.

Fa la la la

2011-12-15T08:00:00.002-07:00

Earlier this month, Melissa came over so I would get my butt in gear and decorate the Christmas tree. Usually, Sophia is in town for Thanksgiving and we do it together. But this year Sophia is in the MTC, so that sucks.

I knew I needed a spare set of hands, so I was grateful Melissa offered. Aspen can only keep herself entertained for so long before she decides to adhere to my leg and whine.

Our tree may be small, artificial and haphazardly decorated, but at least it's up.

Holiday craziness

2011-12-14T20:10:00.006-07:00

Do you ever feel like the holidays make you so anxious you don't know what to do with yourself? Well, head over to BlogHer's Life Well Lived campaign to read tips on how to stay organized and ahead of the game. If you want to know some of my secrets for surviving the holiday rush, click over to BlogHer.

Additionally, you can enter to win the Life Well Lived Sweepstakes by sharing some favorite holiday moments in the comments. You'll be eligible to win a $250 so it's worth taking a minute to click over and enter.

An unexpected turn of events.

2011-12-12T08:00:00.001-07:00

I haven't seen my dad in almost 16 years. He made some bad choices and they ultimately led to him not choosing us.

When he left my immediate family, contact with his side of the family tree mostly ended. To me, it seems there was a lot of misunderstanding and confusion, and it was just a lot easier to get on with our lives separately.

Eight years ago, my paternal grandmother (Nana) was dying. Through the family grapevine my brothers and I found out, and we drove 4 hours to Southern Utah in the blazing summer heat without A/C in the car. We visited for a little while with grandparents we no longer knew, and then we turned around and drove back north.

This weekend, the family grapevine once again alerted me and my brothers of an ailing grandparent. This time it was my paternal grandfather. No one's sure how much longer he'll live.

I had no idea what to expect when we made plans to visit him. My cousin informed us that Grandpa was in and out of lucidness and there was a chance he wouldn't even know us. Regardless, we knew we were doing the right thing by visiting with him. And, thankfully, he no longer lives in Southern Utah so the trip wasn't going to be anywhere near as uncomfortable as the one we took eight years prior.

My brothers and I walked into my Grandpa's room and found him sleeping. We hesitantly woke him, and did our best not to scare him to death. We introduced ourselves, but didn't know if he understood. Additionally, we didn't know if he could even hear us. Eventually we noticed a notepad on the counter with other names and notes from visitors. So we wrote our names, and whose children we were. We pulled down the old photos of us that he has tacked in his room and hoped that helped him understand.

The only thing he said to us was "I'm overwhelmed." I'm hopeful he meant that in a good way.

I'm such a mean mom, she only gets one french fry at lunch.

2011-12-07T08:00:00.002-07:00

So here Aspen is, trying to make it last.

A break in our regularly scheduled program

2011-12-05T09:41:00.003-07:00

I get a lot of judgmental comments about me being judgmental.

I also get comments that I'm a bad person for the struggles I have as a mother. That I'm ungrateful for my child, and that I don't understand how lucky I am to have Aspen.

I guess these people are secretly watching me 24/7, and they also have infinite understanding of my relationship with my daughter. Otherwise, how could they possibly know more about me than what is shared on this blog?

What I don't understand is why I seem to be the only mother in existence who has ever felt overwhelmed. How do all these other mothers maintain perfection all day, every day? Is there some sort of training I missed?

Maybe if I spent time writing mean comments on other blogs I would be more enlightened. Because those people really seem to have it all going on.

So grateful

2011-12-03T08:54:00.005-07:00

Hotel rooms are small, people. Especially when you're trying to sleep in one with a toddler. A toddler who decides she will not sleep after 2am. It was one of the longest nights ever as Aspen and I tossed and turned in my bed in the hotel.

So on zero sleep yesterday morning, we got the great news that the power company didn't even have an estimate for when power would be restored to our home. With that, we decided to book our room for a second night so we'd have somewhere warm to sleep. And I was wondering how on earth I was going to entertain/nap/feed Aspen for the rest of the day without the comfort of our Pink House.

By 11:30, I had a sub lined up for my Saturday morning class, so we decided to check out of the hotel and stay the weekend at Seth's. That meant returning to our 45 degree house for Aspen's nap and for packing up. I bundled that little burrito like there was no tomorrow and prayed she wouldn't freeze to death in her sleep.

When she woke up, Gail, Aspen and I tried to run a few errands to get warm. The house had been so cold we could barely feel our fingers and toes. Thankfully, lunch at Chik-fil-a and a trip to Babies R Us got the blood flowing so we could head to the Treehouse Museum for some entertainment. I'm so glad I bought a membership there!! Although, I kind of felt like a homeless person bumming heat off of Treehouse.

They close at 5 on Fridays, so we regretfully had to leave. Just as it was getting dark. I really didn't want to return to the house and freeze some more, but we had little choice. We needed to find somewhere to eat, or to bring food home. We had to finish packing up and wait for Kev to get home from work so we could head to Seth's. My biggest fear was that while we were gone, the 20 degree weather would burst our pipes. I really didn't want to deal with that nightmare upon returning home.

As we turned onto our street yesterday evening, we noticed lights on in neighboring houses. Houses we weren't sure had power earlier in the day. We kept our fingers crossed that as we approached the Pink house, we'd see the porch light illuminated (Kev had left it on as a "beacon" so if we drove by the house during the day, we'd know at a glance whether or not the power was back).

When Gail and I saw that light glowing brightly, we shouted for joy. And Aspen followed suit, screaming her head off with us. I immediately called Emilie (who was on her way back up from SLC) and told her to come home with a lighter heart, because our neighborhood had power. I even went to her house and turned her heat on for her so she and Yao would have some warmth to greet them.

Being without power and without a home base for two days was pretty wretched. I was so grateful for the return of normalcy I almost cried. I was glad we didn't have to barge in on Seth for additional days. I was glad we could stop eating out. I was especially glad I didn't have to lose another night of sleep in a hotel room with a squirmy, screaming toddler.

I'm just so relieved that the last two days are over. I'm relieved that even though most of our shingles blew away, our roof didn't leak when it snowed last night. I'm relieved we could heat up our house and avoid plumbing issues. I'm relieved that when I flick a light switch, it now works.

It'd be one thing if we were accustomed to living without electricity. But since we're not, there was nothing easy for me about the last two days.

Definitely a day for the history books.

2011-12-01T20:36:00.002-07:00

Oh my gosh. This day. I am so grateful our house is unscathed. I am so grateful our cars didn't get crushed by trees or hit by flying debris. I am so grateful we had plenty of food to eat and good friends to spend this day with. I am so grateful we're in a cheap hotel with ELECTRICITY. I am so grateful Aspen is sleeping peacefully in her pack 'n play so my mom, Emilie, Yao and I can all sit together in the other room and relax for a little while to recover from all the chaos.

What chaos, you ask?

Well, Utah almost blew away today.

On top of that, my mom's flights were all sorts of wacky and when she was finally on her way to Utah, Aspen decided to fall asleep for a very late afternoon nap. So then I found a poor sucker (thanks, Paul!) to sit in my cold house and hang out while Aspen slept so I could drive to the airport.

I was so sure my car was going to flip on the Interstate that I went so far as to zip my phone into my coat pocket so I could access it when my car rolled into a ditch. Dramatic, yes? But I seriously thought my little, 2-door Tercel was going to eat it today.

It's just so insane to have your entire day tipped upside down (almost literally). Gail and I saw countless trees downed in countless yards. Fences were ripped apart. Homes crushed. Power lines laying in the street.

I don't know when we'll have power again, but I'm so grateful to be in this hotel room with heat, lights, news, and of course, the Internet. I just wish Kev was here with us. We didn't have a practical way to smuggle Maddie into the hotel so he is at the Pink House, hoping and praying the pipes don't freeze overnight.

Wish us luck.

One Fish, Two Fish, Three Four Five!

2011-11-30T08:00:00.002-07:00

The day after Thanksgiving, we made a trip to the Living Planet Aquarium. I've never been, so we didn't know what to expect. I'd heard it was kind of small, but when you consider the target audience in our group, it was PERFECT.

There could have been more at Aspen's eye-level, but for the most part she saw everything. Whether on my hip, hijacking Little's stroller, or walking by herself, Aspen made the rounds and saw sea stars, fish, penguins and more.

I can't believe how vibrant the South American frogs are. They looked like plastic toys. I especially loved the bright blue ones. So cute.

I have a Groupon for discounted admission to the Penguin Encounter and I'm really thrilled about that. Aspen was so into those birds. When we visited them last week, it was right before feeding time so they were all over the place in the enclosure. Aspen couldn't pick her jaw up off the floor while we were there.

The Aquarium is staying put for about a year, and then in November 2012 it's closing to move to a new location. The artist's rendering is amazing; it's going to be an actual aquarium in the future, instead of just a converted grocery store. If it wasn't so far from us in Ogden, I'd totally buy a membership.

Bathing beauties

2011-11-29T08:00:00.002-07:00

It's safe to say Aspen loves bath time. Even more so in the tub (at our house we just bathe her in the kitchen sink).

While at Seth's for Thanksgiving, Little and Aspen got to take a dip together and play to their hearts' content. Well, mostly Aspen played and splashed while Little looked on in wonder.

I look forward to the day when the girls are old enough to see these photos and be so embarrassed.

Giving thanks

2011-11-28T08:00:00.002-07:00

Including sleeping well, eating well, and playing a lot with family, this Thanksgiving will go down in history as The Best Ever because over the weekend Kev installed the dishwasher.

So even though I caught a cold and was feeling mighty sick, I did a little happy dance when the first load of clean dishes came out of the washer and there was nary a leak or a problem to be seen.

Happy Thanksgiving, indeed.

Penny for your thoughts, month 16

2011-11-27T08:00:00.006-07:00

Penny-

Look at you, giant girl!

How many teeth do you think you need? Because I think that six is good. Six is enough. You're getting along fine with the few you have. No need for more! I hate how uncomfortable you are while the new ones try to grow in. You don't like eating, you don't sleep as well, and you're grumpy. It's sad. So let's cap it off at six so you don't have to endure any more of this nonsense.

Besides developing more teeth, you're also developing quite a vocabulary. You're signing all the time now, new words like "swing," "train," "phone," "baby," and some that I think you're inventing. You also like to try repeating words that are said to you, which is awesome and terrifying. I think my favorite trick you do right now is sign "cat" while meowing when we talk to you about our friend Yao. And when we talk about Emilie, you sign "apple." Without fail. I think it's because she fed you three bowls of applesauce one night while we were visiting.

I'm not sure if it was in the last month or if it started two months ago, but you're so sweet about giving kisses when asked. And mid-November you started patting me on the back. At least I hope you're patting, and not hitting me. You also like to crawl onto my back when I'm laying on the floor. Ever since Samson let you do that on Halloween, you think it's the most fun EVER. Just stop trying to climb Maddie, because she really, really, really does not like it.

This month we got to visit with your Grandpa Marc, which is special because he lives in Maine. Also, we had fun trying to make you play with Leilani. During Thanksgiving we spent a couple of days at your Uncle Seth's and you were thrilled to have all that attention. You even warmed up to your cousin and got nakie with her in the tub.

While in Sandy visiting Seth, Jeshua, Julia and Leilani, we went to the Living Planet Aquarium and had a lot of fun looking at fish, penguins, sea stars and so much more. Mama even touched a sting ray!

Another highlight of this month is your development while playing. The weekend we got home from Seth's you played with your baby doll and pretended to put her to bed. You gave her a kiss, put her in her bed and waved bye bye (which is what you do to Daddy when he puts you in your crib). It was AMAZING to watch you do something so grown-up.

The older you get, the more fun you are. Sometimes we're frenemies, but most of the time we're BFF. Mama looks forward to more Holiday fun with you, and Daddy can't wait until you can help him around the house.

Love you boo-boo-ba-choo.
Mama

Random Recipe

2011-11-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

I know, Thanksgiving has left us all feeling much too full to think about food. Let alone food that isn't an easy leftover in the form of sandwiches and all the fixins. But this is a great recipe, one I got from Kimba's blog many many moons ago. It's sweet, pulled pork of the Costa Vida variety.

3-4 lb pork roast
1/2 chopped onion
1/2 jar salsa
1 jar red taco sauce
1/2 C coke
1 C brown sugar

Spray your crock pot with pam and throw in the chopped onion. Place roast on top and cook for about 6 hours.

After the initial cooking, remove the pork and discard onions. Shred the pork, or just pull apart into chunks. Mix the salsa, taco sauce, coke and brown sugar in the crock pot with the pulled pork. Let simmer another 3 hours or so.

I like to spread avocado and sour cream on a tortilla and then fill with pork, lettuce, cheese and black beans. The leftover pork also makes a great sandwich. Measurements and time is approximate, depending on what you've got going on.

A show you should watch

2011-11-25T08:00:00.001-07:00

It's on hiatus right now because of the Thanksgiving holiday (hope you ate lots of food!) but Fox's New Girl is the best thing ever.

It's so funny that I have to shove my fist in my mouth to keep from laughing out loud and waking Aspen. I have even laughed so hard I cried. Zooey is delightfully awkward and real (except I HATE THE NERD GLASSES), and her roommates are equally entertaining.

So check out New Girl and try not to pee your pants laughing.

Don't worry, I mailed some to Sophia.

2011-11-24T08:00:00.001-07:00

Captain Grumpy Gus and I tackled my famous Pumpkin Chocolate Chip cookies together this year. It was a request from Seth, so we had to oblige for Thanksgiving.

I really thought Aspen might die from all the fuss she put up while I was getting things ready, but once she had her own "cooking supplies" she calmed down.

And we were really in business when she took up her role as chocolate chip taste tester. It suited her quite well and we banished the grumpiness until it was time to wash the dishes. Washing dishes makes me grumpy too!

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving (even if you don't have these cookies!).

The weekend during which Aspen won't sleep turns into the week during which Aspen won't sleep.

2011-11-23T11:43:00.005-07:00

Last night was rough. Kev and I got into bed just before midnight only to be awoken less than two hours later by a SCREAMING child.

Usually she doesn't freak out so much if she wakes in the night. Once she finds her binky under the covers she's good to go. But a combination of her new, stupid teeth, and bad napping during the day makes for an exceptionally upset baby at night.

Kev tried soothing her a handful of times, and an hour later I finally gave it a go. Why didn't I try in the first place? Well, because on Wednesday mornings I get up at 530 in order to teach an early class at the University. So I like to get a little sleep before-hand.

I sucked at soothing her because she started screaming again a few minutes after I got back into bed. I even tried bringing her into bed with me and Kev but since she never sleeps in our bed, she though it was play time. Especially since the infant Tylenol had kicked in by then. She was happy as a clam, and wanted to crawl all over us and chat. I was so tired I could feel my eyes crossing.

Kev eventually took Aspen away and ended up sleeping on her bedroom floor. At that point I only had 2 hours until I had to get up, so I begged for sleep to come. BEGGED!! She fussed and make a stink for a while but we all fell asleep sometime after 4am.

Shortly after returning from Yoga, Aspen woke up and the day officially started. And now, after a super-short 50 minute nap, she is again awake and crying in her crib. I'm praying we don't have a repeat of last Thanksgiving, during which time Aspen refused to sleep/eat/relax for two days and I almost lost my freakin' mind.

Hopefully baking cookies and taking a visit to the Treehouse Museum can keep her spirits up and help her forget about those sharp, pointy annoyances trying to burst forth from her little baby gums.

I sure hope Aspen doesn't read this because it will spoil Christmas.

2011-11-22T09:35:00.003-07:00

Since Aspen is so young, she's only getting a handful of gifts for Christmas this year. Inevitably she'll just end up crawling in boxes and playing with wrapping paper, so why waste money on lots of toys?

One thing I'm determined to make is a pair of felt wool slippers that I read about in the December issue of Martha Stewart Living. They only require one piece of felt per slipper, and very minimal sewing. I think it's safe to say that if you can sew on a button, you can sew these slippies.

That one weekend Aspen didn't sleep.

2011-11-21T10:31:00.006-07:00

I thought she was finally asleep. Her warm body was heavy on my chest, and her breathing was steady. Occasionally she twitched, as only sleeping babies do. I continued to hold her and breathe in the scent of her shampoo. Although it was late, I wanted to enjoy a few moments of stillness with her.

When her binky slipped out of her mouth and down my arm, resting in my lap, I thought for sure it was okay to put her in bed. I waited for a reaction from her but there was none. Just as I was about to sit up and move her from my chest to her crib, I heard it.

"Uh-oh."

A soft little whisper. She wasn't asleep. And she wanted her binky back.

Random Recipe

2011-11-20T08:00:00.001-07:00

Now, don't hate me but I don't have any measurements for this recipe. I know, crazy! What happened was I stumbled upon Salmon fillets for a total of $5 and could not pass them up. Usually I like to grill Salmon, but since it's FRIGID these days, I opted to bake the fillets in the comfort of my house instead.

Baked Salmon Fillets

Ingredients:
olive oil
lemon juice
kosher salt
thyme (or any of your favorite spices)

Place fillets on aluminum foil covered baking sheets (skin side down). Drizzle olive oil and lemon juice over the tops of the fillets. Sprinkle with salt and thyme (or seasoning of your choice). Bake at 350 until opaque, or about 45 minutes (depending on thickness of fillet).

Serve plain or with tartar sauce.

I like having salmon with mashed potatoes and a veggie, but since I was pressed for time that night we just had some peas with it. The best part about the meal for me was having it as lunch a couple of days later, and all the flavors had soaked into the fish even more. I recommend marinating the fish if you have time so it's extra delicious.

Saturday is a special day

2011-11-19T12:37:00.006-07:00

My step-brother got married yesterday so Jeshua, Julia and Little Leilani came up from Provo to visit. We fed the girls all sorts of snacks at the reception and got to catch up with each other (and our step-dad Marc who flew in from Maine).
Because of baby bedtimes, J&J stayed the night at the Pink House to make it easier on everyone. The babies were SUPER tired after a night out. Little was asleep minutes after leaving the reception and Aspen had a meltdown when Kev changed her into PJs at the house. Thankfully, they slept well enough that Kev and I watched the new(ish) X-Men movie while Jeshua passed out on the living room floor. The best part was when Jesh's phone rang and when we tried to wake him to answer it (in case Julia was calling him from the bedroom) he just talked gibberish until falling back asleep. I always forget how insane his sleep-talking is until it happens again. Kev and I laughed so hard I was afraid I might pee my pants.

I had a Yoga class this morning, so everyone got to play without me. I wish I could have stayed in my jammies and watched Signing Time too! We missed having Seth around as well, since he opted to take his cold home instead of sharing it with the rest of us. Thank goodness we're all going to feast together next week so everyone can enjoy watching the babies kinda sorta try to be friendly while mostly just ignoring each other.

(non) Dairy Queen

2011-11-18T08:00:00.002-07:00

Since deciding that I'm probably lactose intolerant, I've made a few changes to my diet. Unfortunately, the main change is that I just don't snack as much. However, since I'm no longer breastfeeding, that's probably good for my health. That's a post for another day. Today we're talking about dairy, and how stupid it is!

Switching to almond milk has been awesome. It has more calcium than regular milk, and it doesn't make me sick. Win-win. Now, I doubt I'll be drinking a tall glass of it by itself anytime soon, but with my cereal it gets the job done. When it comes to my sweet tooth and my unhealthy obsession with ice cream, I've just switched to fruity sorbets and rice/soy ice cream. All good options. But if someone wants to tell Ben & Jerry's to make lactose-free flavors I can totally support that.

My biggest downfall right now is breads. I love bread. I love bagels. I love waffles and pancakes. But even just snatching a bite of Aspen's breakfast foods gives me grief. It's not anywhere near as bad as when I had to ship my kid off to a friend's house for an afternoon, but it's not awesome.

But that is where Lactaid comes in. If only it didn't cost $10 for 32 tablets. I could use that up in two days! There is relief is Lactaid though, despite the cost. And the disgusting taste of the chewables I accidentally bought instead of the capsules. I have yet to try Lactaid with real ice cream/milk, but it got me through a delicious dinner of pulled-pork with cheese and sour cream on Sunday and for that I am grateful.

My mom told me she came down with lactose intolerance when she was about 30, so I probably have genetics to thank for this unfortunate development. She suffered for a few years with really bad symptoms, but they eventually lessened. She too has a great love for ice cream, so there is hope for me. For now, I will embrace this change and continue to improve my meal planning. If anything, this is helping me be more mindful of what I eat, and there's nothing wrong with that.

READ!

2011-11-17T08:00:00.002-07:00

Disclosure: I have been compensated for my participation in this BlogHer Book Club discussion, but the opinions expressed are 100% my own.

I often wonder how I can be so oblivious to obvious things, including plot lines in books. Specifically, I don't know how I missed the synopsis on the back of Sea Change that clearly states Guy is "writing in his diary about the man he might have been and the family he should have had." I was totally blindsided mid-novel when the revelation was made clear via dialogue between Guy and Marta. Because I hadn't taken the time to carefully read the back of the book, I hadn't realized what was going on when Guy was writing daily about a family road trip across America. There I was, thinking how nice it was that they were seeing the sights and making memories when BOOM it hits me that it isn't real. He's been making it all up.

When you begin Sea Change, you're left with a cliff-hanger that really pushes you to believe a certain event has transpired; there's almost no way to think otherwise. But because of the diary, and my misconception that he was recalling memories, not fabricating memories, I thought I'd just jumped to an incorrect conclusion about the happenings in the first chapter. I was beyond confused until Guy's conversation with fellow troller Marta.

The book is well-written, and really sucked me in. I just wanted to read about Guy, his wife Judy and their daughter Freya. Even if their road trip was fake. And once I realized everything was in his imagination, I also wanted to get Guy some help. I understand memories are sacred things, and it's hard to let go of the past, but Guy was not really living his life any longer; he was absorbed in a life he had created.

I learned a lesson with this book. There is a time to remember and a time to let go. We have to pick our battles and keep ourselves open to what's ahead of us. Otherwise we miss what's happening right in front of us.

All I want for Christmas...

2011-11-16T15:35:00.002-07:00

All I would like today is for Aspen to take one little nap. Just one. And little. An hour. Perhaps an hour and 15 minutes.

I have tried putting her down all day. We've allowed for some extra snacks and drinks, we've had some extra playtime and run a long errand. Nothing is working. NOTHING!!

I don't understand how it is possible that she is still awake. She acts like she's about to self-destruct any minute. So far, I have walked back into her room and caught her doing headstands, hiding under her blankets, and just sitting in the middle of her crib crying. She is not giving up.

Meanwhile, I've been up since 5:30 and I also feel like I'm about to self-destruct any minute. Additionally, Kev is not planning to come home until after Aspen's bedtime, so I need to man up and somehow survive this day.

Dog-gone it.

2011-11-15T10:10:00.004-07:00

When Kev and I brought Aspen home from the hospital, Maddie (our dog) was with my brother Seth. He Kept her for most of the week and when he came back up to Ogden to meet Aspen and spend some time with us, Maddie returned home as well.

It worked out because Maddie was SO EXCITED to be with Seth that she didn't miss us. And then she was SO EXCITED to see us again that she didn't pay much attention to Aspen. For months after Aspen's arrival, we could get Maddie to "go find the baby!" and we'd watch her search the house until she sniffed her out.

Since Aspen didn't start moving around until she was almost a year old, Maddie didn't have to worry much about their interactions. And by the time Aspen was officially mobile, she was old enough to learn how to be soft, and she wasn't obsessed with putting EVERYTHING into her mouth. I was hopeful Maddie would just continue her avoidance tactics when Aspen got too close for comfort.

I have only seen Aspen pull hard on Maddie's ear once or twice, and she has always been sternly reprimanded and removed from the situation. Additionally, Maddie is sometimes gated out of the play area when all the kids are together, making a lot of noise and running around. Despite all our efforts though, she is showing a lot of aggression towards Aspen lately.

It's getting hard to deal with because I'll be with both dog and daughter in the living room and Maddie will suddenly snap at Aspen's face because Aspen decided to crawl up onto the couch where Maddie is sitting. Aspen doesn't even have to touch Maddie for her to get aggressive. The result is Maddie spending a lot of time separated from us, whether it's just being locked out of the living room (with free reign over the rest of the house) or being down in the cellar (where her dog bed is).

Maddie has always been extremely territorial with her people and space. I hate that I now have to keep such a close eye on the two of them to avoid incident. You would think that with the amount of food Aspen hand-feeds to Maddie they'd be bonded for life. But I guess Maddie doesn't see it that way.

Have you had any problem with pets and kids? I was hopeful this wouldn't happen, especially since things started out so well. I know smaller dogs have a tendency to be more prone to agitation, but I thought we'd avoided this kind of reaction since it took so long to develop. I think I might try walking Maddie alone every day, even if it's the dead of night after Kev gets home. I'm hopeful the extra attention and exercise will help her mellow out. Wish me luck, or we're going to have to figure out something else.

Kev is obviously really good at watching kids.

2011-11-14T08:00:00.001-07:00

I had to cover a friend's Pilates class on one of the nights we babysit Zjani's kids, so Kev came home from work a little early to watch Aspen and her friends while I was gone.

When I got home, it really seemed like he had things under control. Don't you think he looks like such a natural? I figure, why exert more energy than you have to when watching kids? You can't keep up with them no matter what, so sit back and relax!

In all seriousness, Aspen adores Makayla and while Konnor does love to give Aspen hugs, she's still not wild about him. But what that means is it's really easy to have the kids over because they play so well together. We watch a little TV, we read books, we play games, we eat snacks and we tickle them until Makayla runs to the bathroom before she pees her pants. It has been a blessing to allow Aspen to make friends at such a young age.

Random Recipe

2011-11-13T08:00:00.001-07:00

For this recipe, I cooked the chicken too long and a lot of the sauce evaporated, making the dish a little dry when mixed together. The chicken itself was delicious, but the pasta could have benefited from more of the dressing mixture. So watch your dressing and make sure you have plenty to drizzle over the pasta! You can also add dry roasted peanuts if that's your thing. It's definitely not mine or Kev's, so I omitted them.

Speedy Chicken Stir-Fry

8 oz angel hair pasta
2 c broccoli
1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts/tenders
1/2 c Kraft Asian Sesame dressing
2 T soy sauce
1/4 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp garlic powder

Cook pasta as directed, and add broccoli for last 3 minutes of cooking time.

Spray large nonstick skillet with cooking spray; using medium-high heat cook chicken 6-8 mins, or until cooked through. Add dressing, soy sauce, ginger and garlic powder and cook an additional minute.

Drain pasta and combine with chicken mixture in a large bowl. Serves 4.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

2011-11-12T20:47:00.006-07:00

Today started out normal enough.

I attended a relaxing Yoga practice that rid me of the discomfort that had been building up in my back. It was refreshing and energizing and greatly appreciated.

Afterward I got to visit with a close friend who blew me away with a thoughtful and beyond-generous gift. A gift that brought tears to my eyes and a greater understanding to my heart that sometimes others are indeed very aware of my personal struggles. And they're aware of them because they are in tune with the Spirit and aren't afraid to act on the promptings they receive. Just thinking about it makes me weepy again.

How could the day get any better, you ask? Well, I'll tell you! I also got to visit with an old roommate for a few hours while Aspen napped. There's just something so wonderful about spending time with someone you're so comfortable with. I almost didn't put on any make up for our chat fest because seriously, this girl has seen me a lot worse off than just bare-faced. Don't you just love friends like that? Friends who couldn't care less if you've showered or gotten all dressed up.

Wait for it, but this day keeps getting better. Since Kev has been working on the kitchen plumbing (oh, didn't you know? He's installing a garbage disposal and a DISHWASHER), I needed to make alternate plans for bathing Aspen. So I asked our neighbor and go-to boredom banisher Emilie if we could visit with her and take over her tub. That turned into visiting her husband at work, going to DSW and then letting Aspen spend ages playing with bubbles in a real big-girl tub. Highlight of her day, I'm sure.

Days like this remind me that I have AMAZING friends in my life and I need to do more to give back. I'll start by bringing a can of beans to Alissa's house tomorrow in a lame attempt to contribute to Sunday dinner. Which, of course, she invited us to after she lent her husband Matt to us all day to help Kev with the plumbing.

So I'm still in the red, aren't I?

Instead of a nap...

2011-11-11T08:00:00.001-07:00

We're still having technical difficulties with regularly scheduled nap time, so instead of fighting it, I put these headphones on Aspen. It was the only logical thing to do. I mean, seriously.

A book you should read and a show you should watch.

2011-11-10T08:00:00.002-07:00

I recently read "The Friday Night Knitting Club" and loved it. One reason being that it had a surprise to it, and another being that I crave the kind of connection those women have with each other. They unintentionally start meeting weekly and it turns into a tightly knit (haha pun intended) group of women who support each other through life's ups and downs. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find that kind of commitment in my life with other women. I noted that there is a sequel and I can't wait to get a copy from the library and dive in.

On the other end of the warm-fuzzy spectrum, the tv show Kev and I just caught up with is AMC's "The Killing." The first couple of episodes were so intense I had a headache from crying so hard. It made me so upset I had to make a conscious decision to let Aspen continue sleeping peacefully instead of going into her room to wake her up and hug her. There is a lot to love about this show, despite the depressing story line. The actors are 100% committed, which is so refreshing when TV is now all about mock-umentaries and crappy reality series. It's set in Seattle, and I find that after watching, I expect it to be raining outside. It pulls me in that much.

What have you been reading and watching lately?

You're a slave to money then you die

2011-11-09T08:00:00.004-07:00

After the grocery store, I found myself driving right past our street. With Aspen strapped in the back and The Verve playing on the radio, I couldn't bear the thought of just going home. Something about the monotony of everything finally got to me.

Day in and day out, we're struggling to get by. We're struggling to find any time together as a family. We're struggling to survive jobs that offer no future. We're struggling to figure out how schooling fits into our lives. Trying to just make ends meet is difficult.

Last week the Bishop finally came over to our home to meet with us. He's been asking for a few weeks when it would be a good time to visit. With us never knowing when Kev will be home, it's difficult to nail down a time for anything to happen. I'm glad that we pegged a day that worked.

He came bearing good news, offering us some much-needed assistance. However, we're not sure when we can actually move forward with it since we're stuck in a vicious cycle right now. I know that Kev needs to take advantage of other opportunities, but current circumstances basically prevent him from doing so. And we can't change our current circumstances without other opportunities.

See what I mean?

So what it boiled down to yesterday was me needing to feel like I had some control over something that sunny afternoon. Instead of hauling the groceries and the baby right back to the house, we went into the canyon for a drive. We listened to staticy radio and looked through the car windows at the snowy mountains. I drove and thought. I tried to figure out what we can do to make our lives better some day. I tried to figure out how we can get Kev in a better place, a place that will allow and encourage him to use his skills and intelligence and to do so much more.

At least yesterday I knew where we were going. In real life, it just isn't so easy.

The trials and tribulations of an only-child.

2011-11-08T08:00:00.003-07:00

The only stairs in our house are the ones that lead to the cellar, and Aspen rarely gets to use them. To learn how to go up and down them safely, we actually practiced at Emilie's across the street. Now that Aspen is a pro, she loves the stairs at the Treehouse Museum. Is it wrong that I let her climb up and down them as much as she wants while we're there? I mean, it's supposed to be a fun outing for her, and if the stairs are what makes her happy, then so be it.

The thing I love about the museum is that we usually spend at least an hour there, and we don't even visit both levels. Or all the rooms. Aspen is super-content to just waddle around and stare at the other kids while not doing much else.

When she actually does stop long enough to enjoy an actual play place or exhibit, I'm thrilled. I like to read the plaques that explain who donated what, and when she finally stops moving I get a chance to do just that. And I'm sure that by the time our year-long pass to the museum expires, I will have read every plaque a million times.

For me, the most exciting thing about our visit last Saturday was Aspen's triumph over the bridge to the tree inside the museum. Usually she hesitates and is too scared to walk across it. But this time she just cruised right across it without a second thought. I don't think she even realized she was doing it. Now, if only I could get her to stop FREAKING OUT every time another kid walks up to her. Some dad was even like, 'oh hey, look at that cute little girl! I love her outfit!' And Aspen was like 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'

Seriously.

Baby, it's cold outside.

2011-11-07T08:00:00.003-07:00

It snowed and stuck on Saturday, so Kev brought Aspen outside in her PJs to check it out. Then he brought her in and went to work. That left me with a screaming toddler who wanted nothing more than to be OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW looking at snow again.

So we got bundled and went to the front yard to catch snowflakes, step on a leaf and watch cars drive by our house.

I'm glad she's an outside girl, but I hate that it's now so stupid outside! I hate snow! Why do I live in Utah? Why why why?!

Aspen and I stayed in the snow until our noses got red, and then we hopped in the car to warm up at the Treehouse Museum. It's okay to go twice in one week, right? We had no choice, people! It was either the museum again or cartoons.

Random Recipe

2011-11-06T08:00:00.003-07:00

During NaBloPoMo, I'd like to share a recipe with you each Sunday. These are ones I've actually just tried in the last month, so the delicousness is fresh in my mind.

The first is a roast, and it is SO GOOD. Just enough ooomph in it, without being too much work.

Apple & Spice Pork Roast

3-4 lb boneless pork roast
1/2 c applesauce
1/3 c brown sugar
2 tsp vinegar
1 tsp yellow mustard
1 T flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp sugar
1/8 tsp garlic powder
1/8 tsp ground black pepper

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Stir together applesauce, brown sugar, vinegar and mustard in small bowl. Combine flour, salt, sugar, garlic powder and pepper in another small bowl.

Rub flour mixture evenly over entire pork roast. Place pork in shallow roasting pan on oven rack. Roast, uncovered, until about 140 degrees (45 mins in my oven). Spoon applesauce mixture over roast and continue cooking until 155 degrees (another 45 mins in my oven). Plan to cook about 19 mins for every pound the roast weighs.

Slice that bad boy up and enjoy! We had our pork with some baked sweet potatoes, and it was a nice complement to the apple flavor the pork had. You could probably slow roast this in a crock pot too, so you can throw everything in and just forget about it.

Eccles Community Art Center

2011-11-05T11:48:00.002-06:00

In my continued efforts to find Yoga classes that fit both my budget and schedule, I found out about a series of Saturday classes being offered at the Eccles Community Art Center in Ogden. Not only does this mansion display local artists' work, but they have two dance studios on the East side of the property.

After my practice, I went into the center to pay, and decided to stay for a while and walk around. It's completely open to the public, so I wandered at my leisure and poked around the two upper floors, as well as the basement.

The Eccles raised 12 children in this mansion, and I can imagine it was a lot of work to maintain it. There are so many nooks and alcoves and places to get lost. I loved seeing the solarium and admiring all the original fixtures throughout the home.

When WSU was still just a college, and was located on 25th street, the Eccles' home was actually a girls dorm, and the front parlors were used as bedrooms. I can't get over the views from all the windows, which totally beat the view of the parking lot I had my last year living on campus.

Downtown Ogden's historic district is amazing. Now that I've been through one mansion, I want to peek through them all. Do you think people will mind? I'll knock first!

A book you should read and a show you should watch.

2011-11-04T08:00:00.002-06:00

I haven't mentioned it yet, but I'm once again participating in NaBloPoMo, which is a month-long blogging PARTY!! You can follow the prompts via BlogHer's NaBloPoMo page, or just write your heart out for 30 days straight. I'm doing whatever the heck I want mostly because I completely forgot about the writing prompts.

For Fridays this month I want to share with you a book and a TV show I've been loving lately. Maybe you'll like them too! Or maybe you'll come back tomorrow to read something more interesting.

First up, the book you should read: Almost French by Sarah Turnbull. It's Sarah's memoir, and she delightfully shares the story of how, as a native Australian, she meets a French man in Bucharest and her entire life changes. Read it if you like France, travel, and a good story about a woman's life that isn't choking with romance and fluff.

Second, the show you should watch: Pan Am on ABC. I just started watching episodes from the beginning and I'm hooked. Yes, it's about stewardesses, but so much more. And I had no idea. I was just watching thinking, oh cute, look at their little outfits and then BAM, surprise twist! Watch it if you like airplanes, the 60s, and black eyeliner.

It's a hard-knock life.

2011-11-03T08:00:00.001-06:00

Switching to non-lactose living is HARD. I hate my life! Will someone please let me go back to the days when I could have milk on my cereal? Now I'm just crunching dry Marshmallow Mateys from a spoon and it's oh, so sad.

I'M KIDDING.

I miss dairy. And it's only been a week. I feel like poisonous foods are staring at me from all corners of my kitchen, but I'm adapting. Mostly because I would much rather adapt than feel as badly as I have after ingesting foods that used to give me no cause for alarm. I kid you not, I went to bed at 9pm on Sunday and literally massaged the bloat out of my body for 2 hours before drifting into fitful sleep. A sleep so fitful I was up every hour to use the bathroom, and eventually slept on the couch so I wouldn't keep bothering Kev. You want to know what I ate? I used 4 measly tablespoons of butter to brown 4 chicken breasts on the stove before they went into the oven.

I have a new respect for people with dietary restrictions. It is amazing how difficult it is to make such a huge change in the food I eat every day. Yes, I have digestive supplements, but I don't want to have to take 14 of those per day just so I can eat anything I want. Also? I'm still scared to eat anything with lactose because I really really really don't want to feel sick anymore.

And can we have a moment of silence to honor the end of my love affair with ice cream? All I can say is that I'm really grateful for sorbet, and that Farr's Fresh has lactose-free options that actually taste delicious.

Spooktacular

2011-11-02T08:00:00.003-06:00

On Halloween Seth and Sophia came up for one last visit before Sophia goes to the MTC. We mostly enjoyed Aspen's performances, such as inhaling pizza, laughing like a fat kid, and riding Samson like a horse.

Aren't you glad Sophia's there at the end to prevent Aspen from cracking her head open?

Penny goes back to the pumpkin patch.

2011-11-01T08:00:00.003-06:00

We got to visit the Farm again, and this time Aspen stayed awake! Last year when we went she was only 3 months old and snuggled into the baby sling to snooze for three hours.

Highlights of going this year include the beautiful warm weather, seeing Aspen LOVE the animals/slides/pumpkins, and watching a pig race. Unfortunately there weren't any freakin' mini donuts. I had been dreaming of them ALL WEEK LONG. And then we all discovered the vendor wasn't there most of this season. Why?!

But it's okay. We got hot dogs instead. Totally the same, right? Oh well.

At least one thing that stayed the same was our acquisition of a green pumpkin. I like having at least one to stir up trouble with all the orange pumpkins.

Going during the middle of the Saturday before Halloween is apparently the BEST time to go. There weren't a lot of people, and we waited only a few minutes at each of the activities. If you missed out this year, then I feel sad inside for you. And for all the pumpkins who didn't find forever homes.

Penny for your thoughts, Month 15

2011-10-31T08:00:00.002-06:00

Penny-

When people ask me how old you are, I can never remember. I'm not one of those parents who's like, yes, my child is 27.5 months old as of Tuesday. So... is it okay with you if I just tell people you're a little over a year old? K, thanks.

In the last month, you learned how AWESOME it is to throw a big-girl tantrum. Yes, you have fussed and screamed in the past. But now we're to the level of tantrum that involves collapsing on the floor and clawing at Mama's feet. Fun! Thankfully, you are easily distracted by bubbles, or by our friend Emilie walking across the street and catching you in the midst of a meltdown.

You have also discovered airplanes, and even if we're in the house you can tell when one is flying overhead and you do your best to mimic the sound and to sign the word for airplane. It's great to watch you soak everything up and regurgitate it. You're learning so much I can hardly believe it.
I wish you would learn to eat more, though. That's one area where we're still struggling. I know it's fine for you to like certain things almost every meal, but it's not fine to ignore all the other food in the universe. There's some really good stuff out there!

You are talking a lot, and it's awesome. Sometimes you're so serious, like you honestly think I can understand what you're saying and I'm going to reply so we can have a conversation. Our friend Paul came over one Sunday and you called out "HI!" from the hallway. He couldn't believe it was you. I'm so glad you're learning so much and having such a great time doing it.

There is so much going on right now in your life Aspen, and it's weird that eventually it will be just that-- your life. It won't be an extension of mine or Daddy's. I'm so grateful for all the time we have together, and for the memories we're making.

Loves,
Mama

I wanted to lose 5 pounds, but this is not how I wanted to do it.

2011-10-28T15:43:00.005-06:00

I had an unexpected, unwelcome, and unpleasant visitor this week. An upset stomach. Again. I was out of commission for 24 hours, basically praying that I could either 1) die and get it over with or 2) finally puke everything out and get it over with.

It was so bad on Wednesday that I asked Alissa if she could take Aspen for me until Kev got home. Little did I know Kev was working in Utah county and wouldn't be home until almost 7pm. Thankfully, all the timing issues worked out and I was free to spend about 2.5 hours alternately sleeping on the bathroom floor under a towel and puking my guts out while Aspen played at Alissa's. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been able to rescue me from a very upset child. Every time I threw up Aspen would scream and throw a fit. I couldn't keep her out of the bathroom, and I obviously couldn't have her in there with me. So I was very grateful for the help.

Kev got home and found me on the floor, and was there just in time to pat my back while I threw up again. Then he gathered up Aspen and we had a friend come over to assist Kev while he gave me a priesthood blessing. I spent the rest of the night in bed while Kev took care of Aspen.

Thursday morning I threw a fit and begged Kev to stay home. I got up to make Aspen toast and almost threw up at the smell of it. My stomach wanted nothing to do with food, and I couldn't stand the thought of trying to care for Aspen all by myself while feeling so sick. Despite all Kev had to do that day, he stayed home. It was for the best though, because I couldn't sit upright until late afternoon.

All my reasoning suggests a dietary intolerance, which is unfortunate for many reasons-- one being that I'm not exactly sure what it is that is setting me off. My guess is dairy. It's basically the only constant in my diet. Whether macaroni and cheese, sour cream, cream cheese, milk or ice cream... it's the only element of my diet I can distinctly remember eating the day before getting sick.

If anyone knows me, you know I could eat ice cream non-stop. Trying to cut out dairy is going to be extremely hard. But I think it can be good for me and my family. I will have more thoughtful meal-planning due to dietary restrictions. Ok, so that's the only good thing I can think of.

Have you ever heard of anyone developing an intolerance or allergy like this in adulthood? I haven't and it pisses me off. Although, I'm also the kind of person who developed an allergy to cold at the age of 18. So I'm obviously special.

Veggie Tales

2011-10-26T08:00:00.003-06:00

I tried to get Aspen to eat a piece of broccoli on her own. A little spoon was offered and rejected; a solo piece was placed on her tray and thrown on to the floor. So I resorted to shoving it into her mouth by pure force.

Usually her pointy little tongue just shoots things right back out of her mouth. But not this time. This time, that vegetable not only found its way into Aspen's mouth, but into her belly as well.

Once she realized how AMAZING the chicken broccoli casserole was, she spent the next 30 minutes shoveling tiny pinches of it into her mouth. I gave her every single piece of broccoli from my plate, and scooped up two more baby-sized servings to satisfy her interest.

It was a triumphant moment. A moment when broccoli won out over plain, boring, barely-nutritional toast. And this mama was so excited the news had to be shouted from the roof tops.

MY KID ATE BROCCOLI FOR DINNER!

And then I found her sharing Maddie's dog food while I was cleaning up the kitchen.

You win some, you lose some.

If you tell me I'm pregnant I'll punch you in the face.

2011-10-25T10:55:00.007-06:00

I don't know what it is lately, but I've been really under the weather. Last Tuesday it hit me with force. One moment I felt fine, and the next I felt like throwing up. I had a class to teach so I sucked it up and instructed with minimal physical input on my part. I went to bed at 9:30 and hoped to feel better for my early-morning class at the University.

Dude. I am so sick of throwing up. I have been sick more in the last year since Aspen was born than ever before in my entire life. And I don't just mean I haven't felt well; I mean I have thrown up more in the last year since Aspen was born than ever before in my entire life. What is the deal? Why is my stomach such a pansy now? It doesn't make sense that my body was like "BAM PUSH OUT A BABY!" and now it's all "waaaah don't eat that macaroni!"

Eventually I got out of bed just before midnight to throw up. I felt like crap the rest of the night and through my early class. I initially had only 2 participants (who showed up on time; CAN PEOPLE PLEASE SHOW UP ON TIME?!) and I asked them if they'd be okay if we cancelled. I was surprised that they really didn't want me to go home and throw up in my own bathroom. They really really really wanted me to have class. Awesome.

So we had class and I almost threw up a hundred times and almost passed out because I hadn't eaten anything for a hundred hours. And then I went home and Kev went to work and I struggled through the entire morning with Aspen because all I wanted to do was throw up.

And then I felt fine and ate Little Caesar's pizza for the next two days. For some reason, that is my hangover food.

First Halloween party of the season

2011-10-24T10:51:00.005-06:00

While Kev was working on Saturday, Aspen and I attended the annual NICU reunion party at Ogden Regional. I don't know why they choose to do a Halloween party, but I'll take free candy any day.

It was a little sad for me to be there by myself with Aspen, but I think she almost had fun. All the strangers overwhelmed her a little, but she did enjoy holding a plastic knife and using it as a comb. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. Since it was a free party with free food and games/coloring/movies/etc I couldn't pass up the opportunity to get out of the house.

And since no one can tell, Aspen is an angry bird. I didn't want to fight her with a real costume, so she only had to hold still while I used mascara to draw bushy eyebrows on her forehead. She actually loved that part! Obviously, she did not love having her photo taken by some dude at the party. But it made her look even more angry... so I call it a success.

Day at the Museum

2011-10-21T08:00:00.003-06:00

I have been stocking up on free activity ideas, and Hill's Aerospace Museum was on the top of the list. Aspen and I went yesterday and enjoyed looking at what the museum has to offer both inside and out.

Aren't we lucky they have a dog? Aspen is very very very interested in dogs. When we're out and we see one, you'd think she doesn't have one at home to bother all the time.

She was afraid to walk under the airplanes outside, which is weird because on playgrounds she's alright with climbing through tunnels. Although, this tail was pretty low to the ground; I had to double over to get under it myself.

I'm so glad the museum is free because Aspen likes airplanes right now. Whenever we hear one, even inside the house, she makes her sign and noises for plane. It'll be nice to go back throughout the winter as she gets older and more aware of what she's looking at. Plus, it'll probably take me many more visits to actually read any of the signs and learn about the exhibits.

READ!

2011-10-20T09:30:00.001-06:00

Disclosure: I have been compensated for my participation in this BlogHer Book Club discussion, but the opinions expressed are 100% my own.

I come from a family of "dog people." Growing up, we always had dogs and they were usually Boston Terriers.

So Julie Klam's advance copy of "Love at First Bark" seemed like the perfect read for me. Klam loves dogs. Klam has Bostons.

Klam also must have a really great editor because her first book is apparently a New York Time's Best-Seller. "Love at First Bark" comes across as a very amateur book. I know it's still under-going edits, but I was shocked that a draft of such poor caliber could be mass-produced for pre-screening. And I wondered how something else she has written could be a chart-topper. Too often Klam attempted to recall entire conversations between herself and fellow dog-rescuers, and it resulted in a dry read. What I expected from this book was insight into her experiences rescuing dogs.

Despite the technical difficulties with the book, I do appreciate the story Klam is trying to tell. She is an advocate for dogs. She does all that she can to rescue and re-home animals that deserve a second chance (or sometimes a third!). She does successfully recall an experience in Louisiana that had me actually experiencing emotion as I read the account of an adventurous (and eventually successful) rescue of a dog with its head stuck in a jar.

The subtitle of Klam's book is "How saving a dog can sometimes help you save yourself," and I didn't glean that message from the advance copy. She did allude to having some marital trials and I think she was trying to say that by including her husband in some of her rescues, they were brought closer together. For the most part though, Klam's obsession with bringing home rescue dogs on a temporary basis seemed to be both frustrating and the norm to her husband Paul. Perhaps she's trying to say that dogs brought them all closer together, regardless of the challenges of house-breaking, feeding, walking and finding space for all of them. I just can't be sure.

After reading this advance copy, I can promise I won't bother reading the final edit. The book came across as having multiple personalities; in part, Klam seemed to be trying to write a memoir about the family's experiences in New York; another personality of the book was dog-rescuing; still another was sending her own pets to puppy boot camp. I just couldn't figure out who this book was.

the real world

2011-10-18T11:04:00.001-06:00

I had 22 roommates in my college career. 22 different girls over the course of 5 years.

Does that seem like a lot to you?

Out all of all those girls, only 2 were certifiably insane. 4 were Asian. 1 was schizophrenic (NOT one of the insane girls, mind you).

Thinking back on all my experiences with roommates, it's a wonder I survived. I was very fortunate to have some amazing girls as roommates at various points in my college career, but that doesn't erase all the crazies.

One time, my 2 crazy roommates (sisters, naturally) booby-trapped their rooms to try to catch me stealing insulin during Spring Break. What really happened was that no one stole anyone's insulin and it was the Maintenance crew that entered their rooms (while I was ACROSS THE COUNTRY IN MAINE) to spray for bugs. But reality didn't stop them from calling campus police to report me for a theft that didn't happen.

Another time, my sweet little schizophrenic roommate ate all but 6 of the cupcakes I'd baked for a pot-luck. She said she didn't know what came over her; she just kept walking into the kitchen and shoving cupcakes into her mouth.

There were also countless instances when one of my Asian roommates would go out of town but leave her alarm set in her locked room so that it would wake me up every morning in her absence. It didn't take long for me to resort to flipping the breaker to our side of the apartment to turn that sucker off.

On the other end of the spectrum, there were late nights spent eating Teddy Grahams while watching TLC's "Trading Spaces." There was a Christmas tree that glittered like a disco ball. There were quotes taped up on note cards around the entire perimeter of the apartment. There were trips to Vegas. Clothes were shared. Walks were taken. Friendships evolved. There were also lots of boys. Kev was the last one, I promise!

Oh, college. You were fun.

How we spend 20 minutes on a Sunday night

2011-10-17T11:37:00.005-06:00

Memory Lane

2011-10-13T08:00:00.001-06:00

While sitting in Aspen's chair, reading books together, she noticed the bouncy seat stowed away behind us. She climbed over the chair and indicated in her sophisticated form of communication (grunting) that she wanted to SIT IN BOUNCY SEAT NOW.

This kid used to live in that bouncy seat. She slept in it nearly every night for 5 weeks, and during many, many, many, many naps. Now she's a huge giant and I can't believe it. But she still loves her bouncy seat.

And I do too (because it allowed me to get some rest during those hazy, crazy months of Aspen's infancy).

It doesn't matter what you look like; it matters how you feel.

2011-10-12T08:00:00.001-06:00

Senior year of high school I started working out for a boy. Into the summer, I listened to Jimmy Eat World on my Walkman and ran my heart out. I hoped that if I could look a certain why, that boy would like me.

Continuing into my Freshman year of college, I kept working out for that boy. I hated running. Hated it. But I still did it to change my body.

For the record, that boy never professed his undying love. Ever. He never even took me on a date.

I kept working out, though. And instead of working out for that boy, I started working out for the numbers on the scale. At one point, my boyfriend in Freshman year actually told me I should gain weight. Bless his heart.

Eventually my obsession with working out dwindled. Honestly, I was so poor in college I couldn't afford to eat much, and in turn couldn't afford to burn extra calories at the gym. I didn't have a car so walking to/from and around campus was sufficient exercise.

Then I found Yoga. Or did Yoga find me? I can't be sure. All I remember is starting my practice twice a week at the University drop-in classes and finding myself in love. Yoga gave me cardio, strength training, and peace of mind. Then I added two academic classes to my regime so I could practice four times a week.

FOUR TIMES A WEEK! I can't imagine having that kind of time again for Yoga.

The point, though, is that once I found Yoga I started working out for me. Not for a boy. Not for a certain number on the scale. For me. So I could feel good about myself.

To this day, I still work out for me. Not for a pair of pants to fit. Not for a curve in my hips to disappear. For me. Too many people I know are stressing about losing the "last few pounds" until they reach a target weight. Then there's frustration when those pounds hang on. Did you ever stop to think that maybe your body is trying to tell you something? Maybe those "last few pounds" actually belong to your body. Instead of trying to lose them to achieve a certain weight, it might be time to embrace them. Tone them. Put them into a pair of pants that fit, regardless of their size.

The journey to accepting my body has been a tough one, especially after having a baby and then finding my flabby self teaching Pilates classes a mere 6 weeks post-partum. It's intimidating to feel so exposed. But here's the thing- if you're not truly working out for yourself then you're never, ever going to be satisfied.

An object in motion...

2011-10-11T08:00:00.002-06:00

I don't know what Aspen's deal was, but last week with the kids she was all up in Makayla's face and I was like, hey, girlfriend, leave her the heck alone. I asked Makayla why Aspen was so in love with her and Makayla said "I know! She wants to MARRY ME!" Truer words were never spoken.

Aspen just kept putting her face into Makayla's and saying "HI!" and finally Makayla looked at me and said "SHE'S DRIVING ME CRAZZZZZYYY!"

Amen, sister. Amen.

Fighting cabin fever

2011-10-10T18:03:00.001-06:00

Ok, all you Signing Time fans, sing it with me now: "Rain, rain, THROUGH THE DOOOOOOR! Rain, rain, RAIN SOME MOOOOOORE!"

It rained a lot last week, so Aspen and I found ourselves at the Newgate Mall twice to play in the kiddie land. Thankfully, she found the kiddie rides entertaining even without me stuffing them full of quarters.

Around the third cumulative hour there, I realized I needed to do something more for Aspen during the bad weather. We can only trek to the mall so many times before it stops being fun. So after the mall I promptly scraped out the last dregs of my savings (from when I worked full-time) and purchased a year-long pass to the Ogden Treehouse Museum. It's closer to our house than the mall, and it has a lot more options.

We already go to the Library once a week, and we'll now add the Museum to our rotation. And we won't forget about the mall, either. Even though when we got home I realized Aspen's white socks weren't white anymore.

Gross.

Mean Girls

2011-10-10T08:00:00.001-06:00

When my sister-in-law Julia posted this photo on Facebook, she gave it the best caption ever.

Leilani: "Let's be friends!"
Aspen: "NO!!!!"

Isn't that sad and cute?

Proof that I'm a horribly rude person.

2011-10-07T12:38:00.001-06:00

Driving home from SLC one evening I found myself fed up with other drivers. I've decided that many people must honestly believe that the use of a blinker will, in fact, cause their vehicles to EXPLODE. Why else would one not utilize that handy switch located so close to the steering wheel? WHY?!

Anyway, on this day, the car was full of Kev, Sophia and Aspen, with me at the wheel. I was totally paying attention the whole drive, and I was also going pretty fast. And I was getting more frustrated with every passing minute. It was probably in Davis County that a 4 Runner full of I punk kids (I can say that because I'm probably older than they can even count) decided to ride my tail and flash their lights at me. Um, hi? I'm going like, 77mph in the fast lane. Don't get your panties in a twist. I finally pulled over to let them pass. Oh wait. Did I forget to mention that I flipped them off first?

Once we got into Weber County some girl cut me off and I had to brake pretty aggressively to avoid death. Ok, so maybe not death... but it was close. That was probably the last straw. I just wanted to get home and get out of the car and maybe scream into my pillow. Kev and Sophia were all, hey, calm down, you're over-reacting. But seriously? You know when you just feel like no one notices anything nice you're trying to do and instead you just get walked on ALL DAY LONG?! That's how I felt at that point. I just hated every car tail-gating, failing to signal, going too slow whatever. Hate Hate Hate.

I have road rage, bytheway.

Ok, but here's the point of my story. That lame girl who cut me off without signalling got pulled over by Highway Patrol. Probably because when I slammed on my brakes I also slammed on my horn. And HP was just a car or two ahead of me and saw it all happen.

VICTORY IS MINE!

It's ok that Labor Day was over a month ago.

2011-10-07T08:00:00.003-06:00

Every year on Labor Day my siblings all try to get together. This year was extra-special because J&J were back from their summer on the coast so the cousins could get together again. During that reunion, LaLa was enamoured with Penny... and I guess you could say it was tolerated.

We also try to take our yearly sibling photo to show that yes, I'm still the shortest. And I'm thankfully looking much better than last year when I still had a weird after-baby body.

We got Julia in on the action this year because we obviously all called each other to plan wearing pink/coral and needed to document that.

We won't be able to have one of these get-togethers at Seth's next year since Sophia will be in Chile. Well, actually, yes we can get together but we'll miss her. But maybe the little ones will have more fun and Aspen will consider sharing Leilani's toys instead of just stealing them.

Oh, she is such a bully! Word on the street is that 7-month old Leilani is now crawling, so Aspen best be watching her back.

My new mini-me

2011-10-06T08:00:00.001-06:00

My younger sister Sophia has always been my mini-me. When she visits and we attend church together, we've been asked if we're twins. I reply that yes, we are, but we're 6 years apart.

People don't usually get that joke.

Anyway.

I've always recognized that Aspen looks a lot like me. She has many features from my side of the family, namely the eyes. Oh the blue eyes.

This week my older brother sent me some cell phone photos of real family photos and I was blown away when I saw how much Aspen looks like I did as a kid. I even had the same horrible bowl-cut!

Move over, Sophia! There's a new mini-me in town.

Quality vs Quantity

2011-10-05T08:00:00.001-06:00

Lately, I've been getting down on myself about my parenting, and about my inability to easily overcome my hesitation to have another baby.

I often feel that those who are unable to have children right now are looking at me as though I'm the most selfish person they've ever met. Or those who have children think less of me for not being amazing enough to have a brood by now.

Regardless of what these imaginary people think, I have tried to remind myself that it only matters what Kev and I think. Our two opinions on the subject of our family are the only ones that have any significance.

Right on cue, LDS General Conference offered some more support to me in reference to family. Council from Neil Andersen reminded those listening that the decision to have children (and how many) is very private, and we are not to judge others. Yes, I have chosen to share this private struggle, but it shouldn't automatically open me up to criticism. I believe it's better to be overly-cautious of having more children than to simply have them because I'm physically able. The quality of our family life is more important to me than the number of children Kev and I have.

So while I will probably continue to struggle with my self-worth (perhaps I need to listen to Uchtdorf again?) I will also try to remember that whatever judgment is cast on me by others is inconsequential.

Tracy Aviary, part II

2011-10-04T08:00:00.001-06:00

When we arrived at the Tracy Aviary in SLC, it was feeding time for the Pelicans. I liked seeing their flexible mouths open wide and catch the fish whole. They're amazing!

It's still wild to see Aspen walking around by herself. She kept stopping to pick flowers, or pick up rocks. I'm so glad she had such a wonderful, stimulating adventure at the aviary.

Before cramming back into the Tercel we had some snacks on the grass outside the aviary. Aspen still had lots of wiggles to get out (although Kev observed there seems to be no end of wiggles inside her) and a super-smelly diaper to take care of. How lucky we are that we didn't find ourselves trapped in that little car with that huge stinky diaper.

And since we had such a great experience with viewing birds at the aviary, I took Groupon up on their offer for $12 admission to the Living Aquarium in Sandy. It's near my brother's house so there's the added bonus of visiting with him too. I've heard the aquarium is modest, but for such a deal I'm sure it'll be worth it.

She has yet to discover shopping is good for what ails ya.

2011-10-03T08:00:00.003-06:00

On Friday Sophia, Emilie, Aspen and I went to Park City so someone could get mission outfits. And someone else could get clothes for work. I am neither of those people so I only got some $5 shirts from Old Navy.

Aspen, however, got some clothes so cheap I thought I'd died and gone to DI with better-organized racks. Did you know that The Children's Place has a rack of clothes for only $1.99? ONE DOLLAR AND NINETY NINE CENTS. And I only bought three things. I'm so good.

Anyway, it was a little stressful since Aspen didn't nap much in the morning, but we made it through the day with minimal crying. Thank goodness Aspen and I found a pile of rocks to play with while Sophia and Em shopped in Banana Republic.

I learned that as long as she is constantly in motion, Aspen is a happy girl. So... sitting while I browse sale racks is not an option. But that's alright because the day was not about shopping for ourselves. It was about spending time with the girls in Park City and enjoying something outside our usual daily schedule.

However, I will never do it again unless Kev comes with me, or volunteers to stay home with our dear, sweet, super-mobile child.

Tracy Aviary, part I

2011-09-30T08:00:00.001-06:00

For our dear Kev's birthday we redeemed a coupon and piled into the Tercel to drive to SLC and visit the Tracy Aviary. I purposefully waited to plan this trip so Aspen would be old enough to enjoy it, i.e. understand what we were there for. And to boot, we had Sophia with us so we were able to enjoy a really lovely afternoon together.

The Aviary is a beautiful conservation for so many different types of birds and it was difficult to refrain from taking an owl home with me. They house teensy tiny ones that would easily fit in my pocket. Easily.

Thanks to perfect weather and good temperaments (mine and Aspen's) we spent 2 full hours browsing the habitats. Some are fully-enclosed, while others are wide open. There are even some enclosed structures that allow you to sneak in and get a very intimate look at nests with mama birds!

In addition to these photos, Sophia, Kev and I took about 600 more. So be prepared for continued installments of our visit to the Aviary. And if you've never been, go before the weather gets too chilly and all the birds hide inside their houses!

Judging a book by its cover

2011-09-29T08:00:00.001-06:00

Sophia, Aspen and I had an outing on Monday that involved books and birds. I dropped those two girls off at the pet store to play with animals for free while I sold some media back to Hastings next door.

I was just browsing when I stumbled into the kids section and the title "ANNE OF GREEN GABLES" jumped off the shelf at me. It's the cutest edition of Miss Anne's adventures! If I didn't already have all the books in the series, I would have purchased this little number for Aspen. It would have been a good companion for the Anne doll I got in Canada when touring Lucy Montgomery's world for that loveable cast of characters.

You probably don't know this, but I used to ride horses. And I used to be obsessed. I haven't read "Black Beauty" in years, and if (once again) I didn't already have a copy I could have easily added this edition to my collection (and oh how I wish my cell phone hadn't ruined this photo!).

Have you seen all those beautified versions of books that publishers are now offering? It takes all my restraint to keep from replacing my volumes with streamlined versions. Additionally, I try to keep my book-buying limited, which is why Aspen and I make weekly trips to the Library. I gotta keep her in Baby Signing Time, and I gotta keep me reading something new each week.

A lame attempt to continue documenting Kev's party.

2011-09-28T08:00:00.000-06:00

Part of what made Kev's surprise party amazing was having all my siblings come up from Sandy and Provo. Even the littlest addition made the drive to Ogden to celebrate Kev.

Aspen's bowl-cut will grow out eventually, right? I still can't forgive myself for the horrible haircut. You'd think that this being her third trim, we'd be better at it by now.
Isn't LaLa just too cute for words? I'm always mesmerized by how round her features are. We like to spend quality time staring at each other when we visit together.

And currently Sophia is crashing at the Pink House until she flies across the country for an extended vacation. Then she'll be off to the MTC in Provo to prepare for her mission in Chile. While she's here we're going to try packing in all sorts of fun, ranging from a trip to the Aviary to some mission-clothes shopping in Park City.

It's non-stop fun up in here!

Penny for your thoughts, Month 14

2011-09-27T08:00:00.006-06:00

Princess Penny-

It's hard to keep track of everything you're learning and doing the last couple of months. I do distinctly remember the day you learned to make an elephant noise, though. I was turned away from you at the moment you choose to pssfhffhfhf. When I looked over at you, I saw that you had opened a picture book to an elephant page and you were making the noise over and over. TOTAL CUTE OVERLOAD.

You also pant like a dog, moo like a cow, and Daddy taught you a monkey sound. Daddy also taught you how to sign "apple," and you use that whenever we're in the yard and you see apples the ground. Then I totally blew your mind and taught you the sign for pear. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever. You're really smart because you know and use a lot of other signs too, which justifies our addiction to Baby Signing Time BECAUSE IT WORKS. You can ask for "more please," and sign "hat" (which you must wear all the time), and you sign "ball." Obviously these skills will get you very far in life.

Although you started walking at 13 months, I still have a hard time believing it. Like, one minute you're in your room with me and the next you're walking down the hall ignoring me while I try to slather you with lotion. You walk with your hands up in the arm and it's freakin hilarious. You also like to walk AWAY from your Uncle Jeshua and TOWARD your Uncle Seth. It's not very nice.

The last few weeks feeding you has been an adventure. You're getting more selective at mealtime, and it can be difficult to figure out what you want. I often resort to letting you eat 2 cereal bars when you've spit everything else out and thrown it on the floor. Can we please stop throwing things on the floor? Maddie is going to get fat.

I think something else that has thrown your diet and attitude for a loop is our successful weaning experience this week. On Friday morning I just decided we would be done with it all. You didn't protest... until the night fell. Oh Aspen. You didn't ask to nurse during the day, but you didn't sleep well at all for two straight nights. It was preeeetty horrible. I'm hopeful that we're turning a corner and we can keep adjusting. We had a good run with breastfeeding, but it is definitely time to move on.

You are my big girl now, Penny loo-boo.

I love you,
Mama

When the lights go down in the city

2011-09-26T08:00:00.002-06:00

See Ken? Well, he had this great idea to host a surprise party for Kev's 29th birthday. Even though Kev told me he didn't want a surprise party, I agreed when Ken asked if we should have one.

We kept the party very intimate, and also very secret. For two weeks we planned and when it came down to the wire, trying to get Kev to the location at the determined time, we almost lost it. He wanted to play with his guns instead of going to dinner with friends. So I pulled the stay-at-home-parent card out of my pocket and demanded that he take me out of the house to spend time with GROWN UPS.

Another catastrophe narrowly avoided involved that blasted ice cream cake. Kev had requested one for his birthday, and I'll be darned if I was going to spend $60 to provide enough cake for all the guests. So I did my best to assemble a delicious cake... even if it looked like it had been dropped on the floor. Nothing a little frosting can't fix!

The reward for all the secrecy and work was seeing Kev's face at the party. And when we were driving home, he told me it was really nice to see how many people love him.

Happy birthday Kev. And many thanks to Ken, Amanda, and Paul for coming up with the idea and hosting it for us.

If it's not okay, it's not the end.

2011-09-23T08:00:00.005-06:00

Last week I told myself I was going to get in gear with my personal Yoga practice. I was like, hey, stop being lazy and attend some classes. It was a nice pep talk.

So I looked at the studios near me and decided to sacrifice yet another morning to early Yoga. Only instead of teaching, I'd be attending. I really did have to try to convince myself it'd be in my best interest to attend a class at least once a week at 6am. But with the studio being so close, I could roll out of bed at 5:45 and make it in time.

You will not believe what happened over the weekend. It's unbelievable. As in, not believable. I got a Facebook notice that the studio I chose to give up sleep for was CLOSING until further notice. They have to relocate and since they're looking at a space in South Ogden they can kiss my early-morning-attendance goodbye. I'm not getting up extra early so I can drive across town for a practice.

I'm back at square one. Other studios don't offer classes at times/prices that work for me. Am I going to have to resort to DVDs? YouTube?! I just want to develop my skills and get some feedback and not drive far and not spend a lot of money.

Is that too much to ask?

Hard work ain't easy

2011-09-22T08:00:00.002-06:00

Aspen is very good at entertaining herself these days. What does she even need me for? I'm thinking of going shopping while she stays home and reads books for a while.

RELAX.

In all seriousness, she's just super-awesome. She toddles around the house, carrying random things. Like Kev's Japanese dictionary. Or a random printer cord that she's obsessed with. And when I dust her shelves, she loves sitting in a pile of books. Another big hit with Aspen is toy cars. I bought 2 from DI before our flight to Maine in April, and she recently figured out how to drive them around and say "vrrrrrrrrrmmmm." I have vivid memories of playing with Matchbox/micro-mini-machines for HOURS with my younger brother. I'm happy to see Aspen enjoying a toy I once loved myself. She likes them so much that Daddy might have bought three more from the grocery store last week. Oh Daddy!

When the weather officially turns I'll probably lose my mind because a lot of Aspen's time is currently spent in our backyard, signing "apple" and "pear" NON STOP. I'm not kidding. She loves having fruit on the ground in her backyard. What are we going to do when it snows?!

Maybe she'll just have to do more chores inside to stay busy.

The morning my snooze button was almost my demise.

2011-09-21T11:42:00.004-06:00

I teach some early-morning classes during the week, and this morning I almost didn't.

To make up for waking before the sun, I set my alarm for earlier than is necessary, just so I can enjoy hitting the snooze button about 98 times. Do you do that? I can't decide if it's better to have interrupted sleep with the snooze or to set the alarm for later and sleep straight through. Either way, getting up before 8am is hard for me. Which is weird because I used to work every morning at 7:45.

Anyway, the point of my story is that this morning I woke up freaking out because I overslept and was supposed to be at the gym in FIVE MINUTES. What can you even do in a situation like that? Teleport? Turn back time?

I'll tell you what I did. I flew out of bed, changed my clothes, peed, washed my hands, put on deodorant and did my hair in the car. I hit green lights the entire drive (THANK YOU TRAFFIC GODS!) and ran full out from my car to the gym, flying down three flights of stairs and making it to class just as people started showing up. I missed my early clock-in window, but at least I was there before the actual start time.

Wanna know how this gets better (because you better believe it does!)? I parked within the WSU campus without a pass and I didn't get a ticket. I get a ticked for sneezing in the general direction of the campus, but today I DIDN'T GET A TICKET. Hallelujah and praises be.

Oh, and class was awesome, too. I had an exceptionally strong and flexible student this morning and I practically made her do bird of paradise. It was beautiful to see her hold that posture. It was like having a life-sized Yoga Barbie.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

2011-09-20T09:57:00.003-06:00

Yesterday Aspen and I went to The BookShelf on Washington in search of a particular book... with no luck. However, that doesn't mean the trip was not a success. How can a trip to a book store NOT be a success?

Aspen played with a matchbox car in her lap and poked her belly button endlessly while I browsed the titles. In case you don't know, The BookShelf is HUGE. It used to be even bigger than it is, but they consolidated and moved across the street a while ago.

I grabbed 3 novels at 20% off each and while waiting to check out was approached by a cute old lady wearing a head wrap and glitter flats.

"You're beautiful," she told me. "And I hope you're nice too. I've known too many pretty girls in my day with their noses up here," and she gestured to the sky. "Looks fade, but you can always be nice." I thanked her for her compliment and proceeded to check out while she wiggled her fingers at Aspen in the stroller.

Isn't that great advice, to be nice? We can only look so good for so long, but we can always be mindful of others.

What goes around, comes around.

2011-09-19T08:00:00.001-06:00

Twice a week Aspen and I get to play with her friends Makayla and Konner. Actually, for the last year we've had almost weekly playdates with them since Zjani and I tend each other's kids. We're awesome like that.

I really like this set up for a number of reasons, one being that I love being able to leave Aspen with someone she's super-comfortable with, and another being that I believe it's really good for her to grow up sharing her mom, space, toys, snacks etc with other kids on a regular basis. It sucks that the kids sometimes pass around colds, but y'know what? It's worth it for the social growth Aspen experiences.

Some days we're lazy and we stay inside watching cartoons and playing with toys. Other days we go outside and ride bikes, eat pears off the ground (KONNER!) and swing.

I remember being tended by a good friend of my mom's (or maybe they became friends because of it) when I was young. Heck, my first crush was my babysitter's redheaded son. If that's not a good reason to let someone else watch your kids from time to time, I don't know what is. Maybe Aspen will follow in my footsteps and fall in puppy love with a messy redhead too.

Yeah, speaking of redheads, I swear I really watch Konner. He just moves too fast to be in a picture to prove it.

READ!!

2011-09-16T16:46:00.004-06:00

If you'd like to know what book I recently read for BlogHer, then click here to find out.

Why the mystery? Well, because the book was a mystery and I thought I'd play along.

Head to my BlogHer Book Club page to see what I read, and what I thought of it. Hint: I liked the book!

Upgrade! Holla!

2011-09-16T08:00:00.001-06:00

Kev finally got a phone that works after years of having pieces of junk that malfunction for the last... I dunno, 5 years?

It's awesome that for the same price we've been paying for the last 5 years he upgraded to a data plan and some sweet phone that not only makes phone calls (gasp!) but has games and stuff.

Of course, I played Angry Birds for the first time and was like, whoa. Fun!

While traipsing all over Ogden and Riverdale to find Aspen's midget feet some slippers for fall/winter, I found the Angry Birds toys at ShopKo. Oh my gosh. I want them all! Unfortunately, Aspen is scared of them.

Doesn't that suck? Because otherwise I'd spend all my money on useless stuffed animals that make noise when you squeeze them. Or I just might buy the action figure play set. That way, when Kev is hogging his phone I can play Angry Birds IN REAL LIFE!

Post-traumatic stress

2011-09-15T10:40:00.007-06:00

A long time ago, in a land far away, I quit my job.

Okay, so it was only two years ago and that land is just across town.

But anyway, it was AN EVENT in my life. Reason being that I'd been with the company five years and all sorts of sh.... stuff happened to me during that time.

Once I got hired and for an entire semester I didn't get paid or get reimbursed for my housing fees because someone went on maternity leave in Texas and didn't process my paperwork. Another time the offices were being painted and re carpeted and although my boss was gone, he made us WORK ON THE FLOOR. Yes, I was a full-time, salaried individual sitting on the floor in my dress and heels WORKING.

I took a picture that I considered submitting to some sort of place that would investigate my boss' business practices and get him fired. But I never did. I mean, if the religious conversations and overall sexist behavior didn't get him fired, nothing will.

So yeah, I quit this job a long time ago to move on to something better. Would you believe that after all this time I still have nightmares about working there? Like, I wake up exhausted because I feel like I've worked all night as a Resident Assistant, or my old accounting job.

I don't know what triggers it, but I am so over it. Can I quit my dreams like I quit that job?

Here in this diary / I write you visions of my summer

2011-09-14T08:00:00.001-06:00

Hey, so yeah... last night Kev dragged himself home from work at like, 6:30 and told me that as soon as I was back from teaching a Yoga class he had to go back to work. What is this world coming to when a man can't come home from work and STAY home from work?!

Wah wah wah, yeah I know Kev has a job and we're grateful that he does. But my gratitude has its limits. I cannot seem to be grateful that he works more than 40 hours a week BUT DOES NOT GET PAID FOR IT. How can I possibly be grateful when we're using our savings to pay bills because his paycheck is sometimes a complete joke? Oh yes, I should be grateful we have savings. And when Aspen asks why she can't go to college I'll just have to say "sorry kid, we had savings."

Sigh.

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up. You know who said that? The Ataris. I remember, back when I was growing up, going to one of their concerts for free because that's how awesome life is when you aren't yet grown up. Now the only free thing I do is go to the library each week and try not to get mugged.

Oh Ogden, I love you!

Okay, okay, enough of the facetiousness. We are a happy family, and we have enough food to eat and we have an awesome Tercel that gets about 100,000 mpg AND has working air conditioning and we have a Pink House to live in and Aspen is cute and ANTM starts up again tonight.

I'd say there are lots of good things in life, although some days Kev doesn't even get to see Aspen for a split second because his schedule is the worst thing ever.

How's your week going?