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Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Cock-A-Doodle-Don't

I have really amazing neighbors. They stop to chat when we're outside, they bring gifts to my kids and they definitely took care of us the best they could when Kev was in the hospital last spring.

Unfortunately, though, one of them accidentally got a rooster. My city isn't actually zoned for chickens, but I didn't mind at all that one of my neighbors had a couple when we moved in. Then they disappeared (there's a hawk that flies over quite often) and new chicks were purchased last spring. In the summer one of them matured into a rooster and since I was up all night anyway, its crowing didn't affect me. Sure, it was an ugly sound and I didn't love hearing it, but it's not like I was sleeping.

But now both of my kids routinely sleep until 7 or even 730 in the morning. Therefore, I DO TOO. I feel like I'll never recover from sleeping only 3 hours every night for a year, and I do my best to sleep as much as I can now. The problem with this goal is that the stupid rooster is broken and often starts crowing at 3am. Or maybe 430am. Sometimes closer to 530am. And he crows for half an hour. Not just one annoying little cook-a-doodle and then done. Half an hour of consecutive crowing without stopping. And the best part is he perches in a pine tree right outside our bedroom window.

We talked to our neighbors about it one morning after the crowing went beyond 30 minutes (WHY?!). The neighbors explained they were so sorry and they hated it too and they'd get rid of it asap. That was in December, after already putting up with the demented bird for months. They also explained that he crows at the sight of any light in the morning, which is why he would sometimes crow as early as 330 in the morning. One of them works very early, and had taken to showering IN THE DARK and shaving with a flashlight so the rooster wouldn't see the lights and start crowing so early. Kev even sent a link to our neighbors from a KSL ad posted by a guy who would pay $5 to pick up a rooster from someone. Not only could they have gotten rid of the bird, but they could've had someone pay them for doing so.

It boggles my mind that they put up with it themselves. I mean, my kids are little tyrants who rule my life in weird dictator-like ways, but I have to put up with them. If I had an illegal pet that was so annoying I'd be like, NICE KNOWIN YA K BYE. We know they hate the rooster, they know we hate the rooster, so why does the rooster still live there?

I've called the guy in charge of chickens for our city and left messages about the little monster but I don't know if any citations have been issued. I hate to do it, too, because I really do love these neighbors and appreciate them. But I can't stand the rooster, and I shouldn't have to. I put earplugs in and pillows on my head and still can't block out the ugly sound of that bird. It makes me positively ragey.

Kev and our neighbor's son are conspiring to just shoot the dang thing out of the tree some day and call it good. The neighbors already purchased another hen in anticipation of getting rid of the rooster, so I'm at the point I see nothing wrong with this approach. I can't count how many mornings the bird has crowed and I've wondered why it hasn't yet frozen to death in the night. I've never hated an animal so much. When I visited the farm today with the kids, I had to remind myself that the roosters there haven't personally done anything to me, so it was okay to stop and watch them for a while.

Hopefully the city is able to step in and make some progress where Kev and I have failed because I'd really like more uninterrupted sleep in the morning.

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